The coffee beans have been spilled! Starbucks was recently accused of hating black people. We still don’t have all the details of the situation, but that hasn’t stopped social justice coffee snobs from gathering their pitchforks. It also didn’t stop Starbucks from apologizing, those regretful racist roasters. As belligerent bovines stampede their stores in the name of racial equality, some trolls have emerged to give us a few giggles.
Enter Bryan Sharpe, aka Hotep Jesus.
When reached for comment, Sharpe tells TheBlaze, “Racism is a business. Thanks to the ridiculousness of BLM activists, it’s the new publicity stunt — and I think I just proved it.”
Starbucks: free coffee for those qualified by their blackity blackness. White devils need not apply.
What’s happening to Starbucks is worth noting. First, they rooted their business in leftism. In case you need a reminder, this is the same company which tried to “solve racism” by drawing on cups. Then vowed to hire a bunch of refugees because they were hungry for extra SJW points. A lot of good it did them. The same leftist crowd they’ve been courting are now devouring them, all because of that fated incident which shall echo in the halls of cafes everywhere.
In response to this new coffee crisis, Starbucks plans to respond with even more pandering. Spoiler: it’s not working out so much (see Starbucks to Close for ‘Racial Bias Training.’ Internet Responds Hilariously.).
Starbucks cups are basically the new pointy white hoods. To hear Shaun King tell it, each and every Unicorn Frapp brings them one step closer to achieving white supremacy. Rumor has it David Duke once drank from a Starbucks cup. Which he found in the trash during his weekly white-only dumpster dive, but it still counts.
Suckbucks has long been steeped in this stupidity. We know not why. Perhaps it helps add a soy-ish taste to the coffee. Only true coffee supremacists would get it.