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December 28, 2023
Seattle shuts down garden birthed from BLM movement, it attracted too many druggies and "a significant rodent problem"
We've had a nice stroll down memory lane this week about the CHOP/CHAZ era of American History. A man shot during 2020's "Summer of Love" announced he is suing the city. And the infamous "community garden" that CHAZadonians created has been taken down. How it took the Seattle government FOUR YEARS to do this is beyond me. But I also live out in real America.
The garden, located in Cal Anderson’s Sun Bowl area, was taken back by the city to be put to good use, at the expense of garden supporters who have never been of any use. The Parks Department released a statement as to why they made this controversial decision:
"In recent months, the temporary garden has created unsafe conditions for all park users, including the vandalism of Cal Anderson public bathrooms, public drug use, unauthorized camping, and a significant rodent problem, along with other issues."
Significant rodents, you say?
2020 feels like a generation ago, so let's initiate the flashback sequence...
2020 was when the Black Lives Matter Political Organization ran wild through America like Hulkamania in 80s. People had different ways of expressing their views on black lives mattering. Some burned cities down while the President of the United States tweeted "LAW AND ORDER" a bunch of times. Others concocted pyramid schemes to free virtue-signaling progressive douchelords from their money. And in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Seattle, a group of people decided to secede from America.
They created the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone. CHAZ for short. Then when people made fun of them over how close CHAZ rhymes with SPAZ, they turned to CHOP. The Capitol Hill Occupied Protest
CHAZadonians first order of business was to create a garden to feed people. Well, before they created the garden...
It was at this pointed they decided in order to be an autonomous zone, they were going to need to grow their own food. Which the Seattle chapter of MENSA attempted to do by ... dumping topsoil on a field and putting vegetable plants in it.
HOW IN THE BLUE HELL DO YOU GET TO BE AN ADULT AND NOT UNDERSTAND HOW PLANTS WORK?
Plants have to be — wait for it — PLANTED! IT SAYS SO IN THE NAME! You plant the plant in the ground, take care of it, and in a couple of months you have vegetables. You'd think there had to be at least one of these commies who has watched HGTV at some point in his or her life. Yet here we all are.
The rest of CHAZ/CHOP developed the exact way you would expect.
Now thanks to the Seattle Parks Department, we can put this hilarious (for those of us who didn't live near there) moment in American history behind us.
Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.
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