Sometime in the blur of “This is Racist Today,” episode: final week of June, our moral betters in their ivory towers decided Laura Ingles Wilder, of Little House on the Prarie fame, should be purged from school reading lists. For no other reason than Laura was a byproduct of her time; the cis-gendered whitey didn’t have the forethought to dye her pit hair blue and protest systemic racism. Ma and Pa should’ve lectured their daughters on white privilege. So much time was wasted sowing fields formerly owned by the red man. Anyway, coming off that, William Shatner has a point to make to all the race-baiting hoodlums high on puff paint:
I’d also like to offer my cash collection services to people who just can’t even when they look at money. In those rare times they actually have it. Wad those triggering bills up, form a nice and neat pile, then tweet me a picture to await further instructions. Let’s put some of those slave-owning dingleberries to work. Mama’s got bills to pay with those bills.
Yes, yes, the same people who’ve got their diapers in a twist over Wilder have long been gnashing their teeth about the US currency. If not the currency, the statues. But here’s an idea. Maybe let’s take historical context into consideration before we purge history of all figures who didn’t hold themselves to 2018 standards. You with me?