At least you could ease some of your Super Bowl boredom with cheese, meat, and the promise of cheese and meat for the rest of your life. We can’t say the same for the protein-deprived vegans who, rather than just turn off the glow box to pursue something productive (like mental exercises on how not to insufferable douchewads), have decided to find a Hyundai commercial triggering. Hey, you can’t blame them, they are in a perpetual state of hangry-ness (see Vegan Activists Seek to Ban ‘Cruel’ Expressions Involving Animals and Vegan Woman Buys Ice Cream for Little Girl. Gets Chastised by Fellow Vegans.). If your ADD kicks in and can’t wait thirty seconds, feel free to skip ahead.
I knew what was coming next as soon as I saw the commercial. And stopped laughing.
“Hyundai’s Superbowl ad should not have made fun of vegan food – it is the one diet that can help our health, help the planet & help the environment,” one person wrote on Facebook.
“I need a new car. I was considering a Hyundai. I am a vegan,” reads another. “It’s hard enough to live this way with out being denigrated by a car company. Shame on you.”
Before you rush to the comment section to type how you’d respond, Hyundai possibly beat you to it:
“We also hope that vegans have a sense of humor just like dentists, parents, judges and flight attendants, the others stops represented on ‘the elevator,'” the Hyundai representative added.
You’ve obviously never met a vegan before. Senses of humor appear to derive from the same amino acids normal people obtain through bacon, hamburgers, steak, St. Louis spare ribs, and not being an insufferable wank-rod.
Buy hey, vegans need to exercise something, since strenuous workouts are more difficult when one nourishes their failing body with soy whatever and buckets of sadness.