Remember the time you got your first grenade launcher, and your BFF came over to record a video of you threatening the president? No? That’s racist.
Well ISIS does childhood a little differently. It’s more Die Hard with a Vengeance and less Sesame Street. ISIS has released yet another in its seemingly endless stream of video messages. This time the messenger is a child jihadi. His message? A personal one. For the President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama. No, he’s not asking for donations so he can go to space camp. He’s just looking to send Obama into orbit. Pieces of him anyway.
A child who appears to be about ten years old, armed with a rocket-propelled grenade and explosive belt (no cartoons of Sponge Bob in sight), threatens to behead Obama, calling him the “Dog of Rome,” and says the President is “dreaming” if he thinks American soldiers will enter any land controlled by ISIS. Nice kid. Bet he’s a regular riot at slumber parties.
The young jihadi points a finger in the sky and warns, “Wake up from your sleep and pay the jiz’ yah (religious tax) in submission before the swords of the khalifah (caliphate) reach you and cut your filthy head.” It’s probably just a euphemism for “let’s play.”
Watch his entire message, here:
Look it, it’s no mystery that we’re not Obama’s greatest fans over here, but we don’t want to see him blown up, either. Especially by a kid who’s just a few curly hairs taller than his weapon. Also, he has yet to grow more curly hairs. It’s doubtful this kid would even make the height restrictions on Space Mountain, yet ISIS gave him a rocket launcher. I guess this kid really is the “JV Team.”
I don’t know if this kid is really a violent extremist, or if he’s just doing what he was told to do. Either way, somebody needs to teach him some respect. For humanity, for his elders, and in particular, for the United States of America. Though we might be past spanking.
Also, no word yet on if he’ll be receiving an invitation to the White House to make clocks with Ahmed.