Trigger-warning to vegans: vegan jokes abound. Yes, yes, we know not all vegans are obnoxious twits. This one is. You’ve been warned.
We frequently serve up vegan jokes like a portobello burger with extra kale on a brioche bun. Because when dealing with self-righteous, malnourished kooks, the jokes come easy. Path of least resistance, bruh. When we get to do a full write-up on vegans, it’s like comedy Christmas. Pass the tofurkey. Lucky for us, this latest tale, juicier than a T-bone steak, revolves around a vegan motorist with a chip on her emaciated shoulder…
A Georgia woman’s hatred of meat consumption has landed her an orange jumpsuit and a stay behind bars.
Madison County cops say on Feb. 21, Judith Armstrong was travelling down Georgia Highway 72 in when she decided to slam into a chicken truck with her red sedan for the hell of it.
According to the Athens Banner-Herald, the truck driver slammed on the brakes after the sedan hit the side of the truck. Armstrong allegedly hit the side of the truck again, sending her vehicle in a tailspin.
As the truck driver pulled over and called 911, the sedan reportedly drove off, leaving a trail of car parts for cops, NBC 11 reported.
Police caught up to Armstrong at her home, where she admitted to the vehicular attack. A police report stated Armstrong drove off like a scared chicken because she feared what could happen to her license.
Cops say Armstrong did the deed because “she was a vegan and hit the truck due to it being a chicken truck.”
She was angry because people kill chickens. But, her solution was to destroy the truck and, in the process, kill the chickens she wants to save. This is your brain…
And this is your brain on soy…
Being deprived of the protein and the saturated fats for a long time will turn you into an emotionally stunted dummybutt and cause you to engage in all sorts of silliness. Meat is not murder. No matter how you slice it. But vehicular homicide is. The chickens she killed in her vegan crusade where killed needlessly and will feed exactly no one.
What I want to know is, why did she feel justified in ramming a truck in the first place? Yes, I know because she’s a vegan who’s depriving herself of amino acids and other beneficial nutrients found in formerly living animal. My question is about her attitude. Her sense of self-righteousness. Yes, I KNOW, she’s an obnoxious vegan. Let’s zoom out a second. There seems to be a pattern in ordinary people taking “justice” into their own hands. Not like Batman, stop it. This woman rammed a chicken truck (I can’t help but LOL) to save chicken lives. We have bedwetting mama’s boys fighting Nazis… by acting like Nazis. Four black teenagers beat up a disabled white teen because he was white. I’m just saying there’s a pattern here amongst the social justice warrior left. Can you feel it?
And yes, I know. Vegans are the worst. Malnourishment will do that to a person.