The leftist war on meritocracy has finally slain traditional beauty standards. The “Miss America” beauty pageant, where hot ladies from these United States strut their glorious bodies across a stage for the world to see, will no longer be judged on beauty. Congratulations, ugly feminist bog trolls. You, too, could be “Miss America” wearing nothing more than your track pants and Uggs.
From The Hill:
“We’ve heard from a lot of young women who say, ‘We’d love to be a part of your program but we don’t want to be out there in high heels and a swimsuit,’ so guess what, you don’t have to do that anymore,” Carlson announced.
Let’s take this sentiment to other venues, shall we? “I want to be a fighter pilot, but I don’t have 20/20 vision.” Okay, let’s eliminate that requirement! Now everyone can feel the need for speed! Or “I want to be a doctor, but I’d rather not take chemistry.” Okay, let’s eliminate chemistry and science requirements! Or “I want to be an American, but I don’t want to speak English.” Okay let’s… wait, I think we’re already there.
“Who doesn’t want to be empowered, learn leadership skills and pay for college and be able to show the world who you are as a person from the inside of your soul,” she added.
Crap, has anyone seen my barf bag?
Miss America is a beauty pageant. The entire purpose is to allow super hot ladies, who’ve worked their tushies off to be super hot ladies, the ability to show off their hotness on a national stage. To be judged against other super hot ladies on who is the hottest lady. These are consenting adult women. They want to be recognized and seen for the gorgeous gals they are. If Miss America contestants were mostly concerned with what’s “inside their souls” they wouldn’t have eliminated sugar, carbs, alcohol for hours at the gym. It’s far easier to binge read HuffPo.
In lieu of swimsuits, Miss America contestants from all 50 states and the District of Columbia will be participating in a live interactive session with the judges.
They will be asked to demonstrate their passion, intelligence and understanding of Miss America’s job, GMA reported.
Da fuq is “Miss America’s job” after they’ve eliminated the requirement to look like a Bond Girl? Slam poet? Frumpy librarian?
Contestants will also no longer be required to wear an evening gown. The Miss America organization will instead ask them to express their personal style in clothes they feel confident in.
Which has inspired Lululemon to launch a new style of yoga pant: Basic American Bitch. Pumpkin spice latte sold separately.
“We are now open, inclusive and transparent and I want to inspire thousands of young people across this country to come and be a part of our program,” Carlson said on Tuesday. “We want you and we want to celebrate your accomplishments and your talents and then we want to hand you scholarships.”
Look it, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to celebrate accomplishments and talents to a wider crop of people. Ladies or wannabe ladies. But then it’s not a Miss America beauty pageant.
The people who will suffer the most are the women who’ve worked hard to be fabulous. As usual. Related: Complaint Forces High School Cheer Team to Accept All Applicants.
Unfortunately the rebrand of Miss America into Old Maid Mammy falls right in line with other leftist movements. Like redefining marriage to include everyone who wants to exchange vows. Be they two men, three men, or two ladies and their Frenchie.
Physical beauty, attained through discipline and fitness, is another form of meritocracy. Trust me, the ladies of Miss America have worked hard for those physiques. They were not just “born that way.” It’s not simply “genetics.” Their faces are the result of their parents mating well, yes. But near perfect figures require work. Anyone who says otherwise can file the paperwork to be a future contestant who can chat it up with new judge Lena Dunham.
Leftists ruin everything. Now we can’t even look at pretty people without getting lectured. This is why we can’t have nice things.