Next time you want to go see a movie featuring British actress Emma Thompson, think about saving your fuel and your cash and just stay at home and crank up your heat. The actress gave a bizarre poetry-reading performance about the evils of fossil fuels and global warming. The poem covered the selfish, greedy bastards who heat their homes to stay warm and prevent, like, freezing to death; and also those jerks who drive cars. You know, those four wheeled things that transport food, get you to your job, connect you to civilization… Yeah, Emma Thompson is against all of that because of climate change. Brace yourself for the avalanche of idiocy:
Hey, at least the poem rhymed in some places. Oh the Nazi reference is in there, it’s just a bit subtle:
Struggling to increase the hyperbole of her alarmist prose, Thompson went on to make a not so subtle equivalence between workers in the fossil fuel industry and Nazis. “It wasn’t my fault, I was just doing my job, I was following orders,” she said.
Some questions for Ms. Thompson:
- How do you get from movie set to movie set? By bicycle? Sailboat? Or do you in fact use petroleum-fueled machines, like airplanes and cars, to transport your hypocritical self and your entourage?
- Ms. Thompson, what’s your alternative to bring poor countries out of poverty if you’re so against drilling for oil?
- In your performance, you mentioned “boil baby boil,” which supposes that burning oil causes the world to figuratively boil. How do you explain the recent trend of global cooling that’s occurred the past fifteen years? Please use rhymes in your answer.
- Lastly, we’d like to write a poem of our own, from us to you:
Your heart is so big,
Your brain is a fig.
If one cannot think,
But causes a great stink,
Over something as fake
As a planent set to bake,
Why should we take,
You seriously, for Shi!t’s sake?
Science you ignore,
Your poem is a bore.
Stick to acting, you fool,
Stop being such a tool.
Get back in your plane,
Stop being a pain.
Educate yourself if you can,
Learn oil’s not something to ban.