This story has evolved a lot throughout the day. By now many of you have heard about Gay Pastor Jordan Brown’s ALLEGED “Love Wins — Fag” cake from Whole Foods. Well, there’s been a nifty plot twist. But let’s get started at the beginning.
Part one: gay pastor orders cake from Whole Foods. He ordered it to say “love wins.” Original. No word as to how many penises were requested to be on the cake. The jokes write themselves. Sorry not sorry.
Part two: Gay pastor adds condoms to the cake then buys the cake without incident. Except not the condom part. Behold, video of the painless transaction of the cake. Gay pastor is on the bottom right…
Part three: the Gay pastor claims the cake was sold to him with the word “FAG” written below it. Because this is 2016 where we can’t keep anything to ourselves, he tweeted the picture of said cake. Yes, the same cake you see him buying, without incident, in the video above.
— Jordan D Brown (@PasJordanBrown) April 18, 2016
One problem though, besides the fact that Whole Foods claims this is hooey (more on that bel0w). The baker?
Our team member wrote “Love Wins” at the top of the cake as requested by the guest, and that’s exactly how the cake was packaged and sold at the store. Our team members do not accept or design bakery orders that include language or images that are offensive. Whole Foods Market has a zero-tolerance policy for discrimination. We stand behind our bakery team member, who is part of the LGBTQ community, and the additional team members from the store, who confirmed the cake was decorated with only the message “Love Wins.”
Part four: unofficial cake forensic analysis shows the piping of “fag” is different than “love wins.”
— Tom Lippi (@Litown1) April 18, 2016
— Jewbacca (@j3wbacca) April 18, 2016
Take a bow, Internet. Step aside Clockboy. I think this hoax was exposed in record time.
The icing on the cake? Whole Foods is suing the gay pastor for 100 large. Yep, it’ll be Whole Foods vs. Jordan D. Brown.
Whole Foods on Tuesday said it has investigated and said the man, Jordan Brown, made fraudulent claims. Brown filed a lawsuit against Whole Foods.
In a countersuit filed in state district court in Travis County, Whole Foods says Brown “intentionally, knowingly and falsely accused Whole Foods and its employees of writing the homophobic slur… on a custom made cake that he ordered from WFM’s Lamar Store in Austin…”
The suit denies those claims, and accuses Brown of acting “with malice, and he has damaged the reputation and business of WFM.”
The lawsuit seeks at least $100,000 in damages from Brown.
The company said that a bakery team member wrote only “Love Wins” at the top of the cake. This was visible to Brown through the clear portion of the packaging, Whole Foods said.
This is not the first time, nor probably the last, where a member LGBTQAAI (silent F) faked a crime to get attention and/or large cash payout. Read about this gay man, who torched his own bar and called it a hate crime for the insurance money. Or this lesbian who got her Tyler Durden on and cold cocked herself before blaming it on a man. Do you also remember the Rolling Stone rape hoax? Okay, that last one wasn’t LGBTQAAI (silent F) but it goes to the larger point. Victim groups trying to bank on being victims.
Well Whole Foods is having none of that. Sure, they might be all gluten-free vegan with a B-12 deficiency. But they’re going to keep their money, thanks. Then use it to hire lawyers to bake this guy a different kind of cake. The only item on tonight’s menu will be justice.