There's nothing worse than a non-parent offering unsolicited parenting advice, am I right? Trick question. There's nothing worse than a parent like you, who prostitutes your child to perverts. Some parents used to prostitute their kids to Hollywood or even other people for simple cash. Answering the age old question of what is the human equivalent of dog crap stuck between shoe treads. Now parents like you exchange your children's innocence not only for cash (in some cases), but social justice warrior points, earning you glowing praise from woke rags like Slate, Salon, and Huffington Post. These internet strangers tell you how wonderful you and your children are for being open-minded, tolerant, and loving. While you dress up your kid as a sex object for the sick pleasure of LGBTQ perverts. You are what scum describes as the scum of the earth.

I love to break it to you, but you're just a pimp who has enslaved your child into a damaging, dangerous life all for your own immediate gain. Pretty sure that sentence has a cicrular logic, but since we're living in a time where everything is as you say it is, I'm rolling with it. See what I did there?

Yes, if you allow your child to dress up in a sexualized fashion and dance for adults in a sexualized manner, you are a pimp. And yes, you are whoring out your child to LGBTQ perverts. Related: ANOTHER Child Sex Offender Discovered at Drag Queen Story Time.

Some disclaimers for people who'll fail to read any of this and dash right to the comment section to type their most cogent thoughts probably in all caps, as internet geniuses do:

Note that I'm saying LGBTQ perverts, thus making a distinction from the esteemed, brave and beautiful LGBTQ community as a whole. Stunning and special as they all are. Not everyone in the brave and beautiful LGBTQ community condones selling children for the sexual fantasies of others. So I want it clear I'm not suggesting all LGBTQ people, who are beautiful and brave, endorse things like "Drag kids." In fact I know many do not.

Second thing, when I use the term "whore" I'm going by the "sells sexuality for money" definition. I've used this definition in a viral post about a certain singer at a certain sport's event some years past. I sincerely hope your children are not being treated as masturbatory objects by the LGBTQ perverts you're assigning seats to in these Drag Kid, Pride Parade performances, but some probably have been.

Now that's out of the way, a call to action: stop pimping out your kids, you selfish, short-sighted, sick sacks of human flesh. Your job as a parent -- your main and most important job -- is to protect your child while teaching your child how to be a good person. If all goes according to plan, people spend most of their lives as adults, only 18 years as minors. It is up to you, the parents, to prime your children to be the most healthy, successful adults they can be. Some lessons good parents teach their children include but are not limited to:

• Being good and kind to others
• The value of hard work
• Being independent and self-reliant
• Dealing with hard choices and adversity
• Instilling them with a desire to learn and keep learning
• Flossing

Here's what good parents do not teach their children in order to be healthy, successful adults. Take notes, there may be a quiz later. When you're in Hell:

• Prostituting themselves because you, their parents, haven't any personality, friends, self-worth, or your own parents failed you and now you're failing your kids
• Dressing as the opposite gender and twerking in front of adults in order to gain approval or the praise of other adults
• Allowing strangers to whoop, holler, or touch them as you stand by taking photos for Instagram in order to hit even more likes
• Pretending to be a gender they can never be in order to be, in your eyes, "special"

It's that last point I want to hit as often as you upload a sexualized photo of your child so a fraction of a fraction of a community can tell you how wonderful you are for giving them something to pleasure themselves to. I didn't pull it out of my tight ass, either. Read Now You Can Buy 'Tuck Buddies' for Your Transgender 'Daughter' (A Little Boy).

Children crave the approval and love of their parents. They are innocent beings and want, most of all, your attention. If you're somehow communicating to them they're only special and deserving of your love if they act, dress, and behave as transgender people, or as sex objects for LGBTQ perverts, they will act, dress and behave as these "Drag Kids" behave now. Related: Parents of 11-Year Old Drag Kid 'Desmond is Amazing' Share Results of Protective Services Investigation.

You're the adults. You have 20 to 30 more years of life experience than your children. It is up to you to know the ways of the world and protect your children from it, then prepare them for dangers the real world presents. Which doesn't mean donning them in sequin dresses with plunging necklines and thigh slits, then parading them on top of bars in gay nightclubs.

A little more Mickey Mouse, a little less Queer as Folk. Say yes to Barney the Dinosaur. Say no to Orange is the New Black. Yes to footie pajamas. No to sparkle thongs. Yes to slumber parties with age appropriate friends. No to bars of any kind whatsoever, you freak.

Say yes to your child's welfare. Say no to being a trashy show mom who's child might one day hang himself in a closet filled with the costumes which hallmarked his child prostitution.

~Written by Courtney Kirchoff