Sit your fat-shamed butt down in a faux leather chair for some needed gun-splaining and basic lessons in how to shut up. Grab your all organic flax-seed granola bars and some Fiji water, this will take a while.
You sicken me. The Lena Dunham eating cake as she sits naked on a toilet kind of sick. If ever I tire of the expression “as sure as the sun will rise,” I’ll employ a new adage: “As sure as the liberals will call for gun control before the bodies are cold.” You government sheep are so eager to take guns from innocent people, you’re so eager to strip people of their rights, you will jump on any tragedy to push your leftist agenda like Lena Dunham posts selfies. It’s gross.
There was another mass shooting this past week, but you already know about it. The details of the crime are still forthcoming. The shooters’s motives are still being learned. This letter isn’t about the sick psycho who killed innocent people. This letter is for you, the whiney wimp who blames evil on an inanimate object while claiming to care about the victims.
Yes, it is an inanimate object. Do me a favor, will you? Put the granola bar down for a second. Reach up with your fingers and touch your face. That hard thing above your eyes is your skull. Your skull holds and protects your brain. Your brain is used for more than the day-to-day liberal operations of crying about the patriarchy and thinking up new terms to call unborn children. Use your brain to think for a second.
A gun is as dangerous as the sweater your mom gave you but you were too embarrassed to wear, so you shoved it in your closet where it collected dust and maybe a spider or two. A gun is dangerous when someone (usually a member of the species homo sapiens) loads the weapon with ammunition. After the gun is loaded with ammunition, it can sit quietly and read A Secret Garden and be as docile as sloth doped up on anti-histamines. Oh, wait, you’re a liberal…replace “anti-histamines” with “pot.”
Moving on. The loaded gun is dangerous in the hands of someone with murderous intent*, like an abortion doctor. Wait, those are forceps. Getting my weapons confused here. Mass shooters are usually young, white male loners (except Vester Flanagan, which is why his media spot-light was so short-lived), who’re “misunderstood” and angry. They typically do not have a criminal record. They will pass background checks, and if not, they will steal a weapon. We call the latter “breaking the law” and it’s what criminals tend to do. Is there an echo in here?
Still with me, or are you focused on the pot? I knew I should’ve saved that reference for later.
Your brain, which, as a reminder, is protected by your thick skull, should be rattling around as you nod your head in agreement. About the guns, not about the pot, you hippy. Because even the news organizations, which are frankly extensions of political, leftist hacks, focus their post-shooting coverage on the man who pulled the trigger. The columns and TV specials are not a profile of the weapon used, are they? No, and that’s my point.
Is your brain sore yet?
Enough is enough. That’s your expression every time there’s a mass shooting. “Enough is enough” said the President as he’s surrounded by his armed security. “Enough is enough” said the robotic wannabe president, who has secret-service detail for life because she’ still married to a former president. Allegedly.
Yes, enough is enough. Enough of your scare-tactics. Enough of your talking points. Enough of your disgusting attempts to push your gun-control agenda onto the USA (which wouldn’t exist without citizens who protected themselves and fought against government tyranny), after innocent blood has been spilled at the hands of one crazed gunman. Enough of your call to just “do something about guns” without providing any actual solutions that would work…
We’re done with you. We’ve had enough. You’re as predictable as fungus growing on feces in your all organic garden, and just as nausating. We’re done with your blatant and obvious gun-grabbing intentions. We’re done with your shameless use of a tragedy to push a political agenda. We’re done with your rampant hypocrisy as you demand we give up our rights to keep and bear arms while you stand behind a wall of them. We’re done with your smelly pot.
I’d tell you to focus on the gunman and what caused his rage, but you’ll get lost there too. You’ll blame some sort of liberal cause celeb, you’ll continue to belittle masculinity, you’ll continue to punish boys for being boys and then you’ll act all surprised when another young boy snaps. And then you’ll blame the gun and claim to own the rights to “care.”
We don’t take pot for the nausea you give us, so we’re getting off the merry-go-round of your stupidity.
~Written by Courtney Kirchoff
*Guns are also dangerous in the hands of someone who hasn’t a clue how to use it. Which can be said about a great many things besides just a gun. Had to add this little note for anyone looking to take me to task over weapon safety.