Dear Liberals: You've Never Grown Out of Bitter, Schoolyard Jealousy...
Dear bitter Leftists, jealous of others success,
Maybe you grew up spoiled and were given the world by your parents. Maybe you grew up poor and destitute, your family "dependent" on the government (otherwise known as taxpayers). Maybe you were just middle class. Regardless of how you grew up, you still haven't a clue as to the hardwork and subsequent success of others. So what do you do? You jealous-rage.
Yesterday I posted a note to Facebook about the loss of my Canadian Aunt Nicole to cancer. In the note, I commented on the socialized, Canadian medicine which served her poorly. So of course, a number of comments from socialist dumbasses came in, essentially to the effect of the screenshot below. It got me to thinking about entitlements, the bitterness of the left, and how despite everything, I've been deeply blessed.
Some leftists look at my life now and assume, because I'm relatively successful (emphasis on the relatively), that I grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth. As a matter of fact, here is an exact comment assuming just that...
That's typical of the left, isn't it? Have something once, have it always, life doesn't change. See you leftists think caste systems are real, that people never move in or out of poverty. Well that's just not the case. Especially in the United States.
That being said, while I consider myself incredibly fortunate, and I'm thankful every day, I was raised in a three bedroom apartment on the South Shore of Montreal, directly on the border of Ville Lemoyne and Saint Lambert.
While many of my friends in college leased new cars, I drove mom's old Windstar until I could afford my very own first car, a 1982 Datsun for $652. I remember that it was that price exactly, because I still have the IOU for $52 that I wrote to the Cambodian gentlemen (Sonni) in Hawthorne California. I couldn't afford both the final $52 and the gas-money needed to get to an audition.
Of course, since many of my high school friends saw me on TV at a young age, they assumed I was "rich." Just like you leftist voters today, they never knew that I had to make up for lost school-time due to being out on auditions and working on-set. When school was out and you were toking up, I was writing stand-up and auditioning only to receive a number of rejections so long it still hovers somewhere over Lake Michigan (name that movie). For every ten to twenty auditions I went on, I was lucky to get one bit part. I remember landing a commercial for a phone service company in Canada, and they ended up calling it off. Why? My acne'd gotten so bad, I was all but unusable on camera. It's one thing to be called a "pizza-face" in school, it's another to literally lose a job because of it. Sure, I moved on. But the rejection always stings, especially as a teen.
I remember when I auditioned for the cartoon "Arthur," for the first role I eventually landed, I was twelve. I was so nervous, I spent days reading the sides sent to me. As I was finally reading for the role, the director flat out told me, “Your voice isn’t right. Sorry. Next.”
I was crushed. In my mind, this was my one big shot. The role of a lifetime! I remember my parents taking me out to dinner to try to cheer me up, only for me to end up crying at the table. I can already see your laughing tweets now.
Haha, you cried like a bitch!
And I did. I was twelve. Surprisingly, the next day, I received a call-back, asking if I thought that I could do “The Brain” (a secondary role on the program), as the previous actor had grown out of his voice. I didn't really sound like him by nature, so I worked up an impression, listening to old Arthur re-runs for days, mimicking the voice on a loop like a morphine drip. I didn't know it at the time, but I was creating a neural pathway for mimicry which would serve me for decades to come. Finally, I returned two days later and re-read for the new role. Nailed it.
Funny thing is, I never told anyone about it at school other than my best friend (Emmanuel). How did my classmates find out? One of our assignments in Mr. Rooney's seventh-grade English class was to write a journal. He sent a class-mate around the class to collect them. She read mine, and told the class. Now this girl was actually very nice. I ended up becoming friends with her, so I don't begrudge her at all. But the reason I didn't want to tell anybody, was because I feared exactly what happened next
How do you think kids reacted?
"Rich kid!" "You think you're better than us?!"
and the repeated cry of...
The exact same thing that you leftists say today when you see success. You've changed precisely zero since high school. You don't reward achievement, you punish it.
When many of you lived with your parents so you could lease nice, new cars, I bought a one-way ticket to New York City and couch-surfed, while performing low-rent stand-up gigs for $50 a pop. When you rented nice apartments and hosted house parties, I lived off of oatmeal and tuna sleeping on a mattress in an empty house in Simi Valley. Why? I couldn't afford any rent, but I agreed to house-sit and clean the place for a realtor in exchange for shelter. All the crap that people who never try, will never know.
Do I fancy myself any great success now? Hardly. And believe me, I consider myself incredibly blessed to have received a lot of help from a lot of great people along the way. Every day I'm grateful. In turn, here at LouderWithCrowder.com we've been able to bless others. Not only you, the reader/viewer/listener with free content, but the team of people who I now gainfully employ. Yes, we are now officially part of the "evil 1%" with a grand total of four employees. You may not know them, but I'd like for you to meet them.
My first full-time hire. You know him as "Not Gay Jared" on the radio show/podcast, my in-house producer. He's the one who shoots, edits and produces my videos along with assisting in radio production for the "Louder With Crowder" program. Before coming to work with me full-time, he was an incredible, untapped talent pushing a salt-truck in the dead of midwestern winter. When I offered him a meager salary, only guaranteed for a couple months to help me launch this site full-time, he immediately quit his job and went to work. It's a risk not many people would take, and one for which I'm forever grateful. Month-over-month, I've increased his salary as possible to the point that he's now earning approximately triple what he was last January. He still deserves more, and hopefully we can make that happen. Sometimes he frustrates me so badly that I want to murder a small animal, as he can be less then perfectly organized. But the frustration only stems from the fact that I don't think he even understands his true potential. When in his wheelhouse, the kid is brilliant. Brilliant.
If you listen to the radio show/program, you're likely familiar with Courtney's soothing voice. Dry, deadpan but unbelievably passionate behind the scenes, you'd be hard-pressed to find a harder worker. She's the most recent hire here at LwC, but she's become the glue that holds the site together. She writes many an original column. When I can't write-up a piece or make the proper edits, she steps in. When I have an idea for a column but can't get to a computer, she frames it and we co-write together. She's not only able to "play with the boys," she's flat out better than. She's simply the best writer I've ever met (yes, that includes all of the award-winning, syndicated columnists I've hosted on my program), and walking proof that women can be funny.
John Brodigan, affectionally (albeit offensively) referred to as "McBrodie", you've heard him on the show multiple times. Arguably the most mysterious man I know. To be honest, I rarely deal with McBrodie on a personal level. Not because he's a part-timer, but because he is so steady in his workflow, I never even need to check in. McBrodie assists not only with writing, but he's the single best pitch-man on the internet. I don't mean "kind of," I mean emphatically, number one with a bullet. I know, that without fail, when I wake up in the morning, McBrodie has combed the web to assist in finding stories/inspiration for us to write about. Even on mornings where I know for a fact that he's hungover, it changes his output precisely zero. He is so reliable in fact, it's almost boring. The dude's a rock, and he rocks an awesome beard.
Krystal was the first intern I ever had. As I decided to work for myself and start LouderWithCrowder.com, I simply needed some interns to aggregate all of my previous content and make it searchable on the site. Hundreds of videos, columns and posts that were spread across the web needed to be brought under one roof before I could do anything else. I hired a handful of interns to do the job. Instead, Krystal did it herself. Within one weekend. Just because she could. I told her that I couldn't pay her what she was worth, but I could pay her as much as I could. She took the job and assisted in getting us off the ground for the very first few months, even booking marquee-name guests for me on the show. I've grown to love her as a sister. She's since taken a job managing a radio station out west (of which I was unhappy but understood) and is no longer with the team, but she knows that as we grow, the door is always open and that we miss her already.
Yep, my brother. Unlike other members here, he's very much a part-timer. He's so busy with other film-projects, there wouldn't be any other way for him to work with me. But as an award-winning filmmaker, Jordan helps polish up production for us both in audio and video. More importantly, many of the regular characters you hear in rotation on the podcast are performed by Jordan himself. Most of you had no clue, but now you know.
My faithful steed. Even though I leave him unbothered, allowing him to sleep in, he makes his way into the studio by 5:00AM every Friday morning to assist in production of LwC, ensuring not only smoothness of operation, but that squirrels never find their way into the studio. Outside of my wife and pops, truly the best friend I've ever had.
All of these people have been as much of a blessing to me as I hope I've been to them. More importantly, all of them took a chance on this site, and still do, when few others are willing to take the risk. Some have even been offered more money by other "Conservative" sites (you know, the ones that simply plagiarize in the name of "hat-tipping") in an attempt to poach them and steal the momentum we've generated. Heck, some of these sites have plagiarized LouderWithCrowder.com directly, simply to prove to us that we can either work for them, or they can profit from our content regardless. I don't blame those sites, and I wouldn't blame any of my team-members for taking the job.
But they never have. Like I've said, I try to pay my team as much as possible, but I know it'll never be what they're worth. I also have no doubt that every single person listed above is going to be immeasurably successful in life, whether it's with continued growth at LwC, or they venture off on their own. Not just because of their work, but because of their willingness to take risks, and above all else... their character.
And when that happens, you bitter, sniveling leftists will no doubt echo the same chorus you've chanted since high-school...
NOTE: To those asking how they can support this site, you can do so by simply bookmarking and reading our news every day, join the mailing list, the Facebook page or subscribe to the podcast. All options are free, and help keep the team employed, and the site to continue growing it's reach an influence.