• Home
  • Featured
  • Show
  • Posts
  • Columns
  • Articles
  • Videos
  • Politics
  • Culture
  • Breaking News
  • International
  • 2020 Election
  • Free Speech
  • Second Amendment
  • Feminism
  • Hollywood
  • Abortion
  • Climate Change
  • Economy
  • Healthcare
  • College
  • Comedy
  • Donald Trump
  • Science
  • LGBT
  • Big Tech
  • Liberal Media
  • Islam
  • Immigration
  • Body Positivity
  • BlazeTV
  • Change My Mind
  • Crowder Confronts
  • Crowder Closes
  • Tough Love
  • Devil's Advocate
  • SJW
  • Fat Pride
  • Socialism
  • Education
  • Sponsored
  • Tyranny
  • COVID-19
  • Police
  • Riots
  • COVID
  • joe biden
  • Log in
HOME
POSTS
ColumnsArticlesShowAll
VIDEOS
ShowAll
PODCAST
SHOP
MUG CLUB
MORE
ScheduleFAQAskJobsContact
Featured
Featured Posts Articles Culture

WATCH: Democratic Socialists of America Demonstrate How to Become Human Wieners

Courtney Kirchoff
August 05, 2019

If you're one of those people who's obsessed with dystopias like zombie apocalypse movies, television shows, and literature, you may be in luck. Kind of. The end of humanity may not come from some incurable disease or nuclear fallout. No, the end of humanity may come in the form of weak people bragging about how weak they are like it's something to be proud of. We'll call this strain of disease the "Democratic Socialists of America," who at a recent convention in Georgia, warned each other about such dangers as talking to the police, talking to the press, talking in general, clapping, and certain pronouns. Welcome to the end.

Meanwhile at the Democratic Socialists of America conference... https://t.co/fT0GfHIFFI
— Young Americans vs. Socialism (@Young Americans vs. Socialism)1564896473.0

"I just want to say, can we please keep the chatter to the minimum? I'm one of the people who's very, very prone to sensory overload. There's a lot of whispering and chattering going on. It's making it very difficult for me to focus. Please. I know we're all fresh and ready to go, but can we please just keep the chatter to a minimum? It's affecting my ability to focus."

Not only do the socialists have to whisper gently, but they need to whisper gently without pronouns, maybe addressing each other with hand gestures. Gentle gestures, obviously. Though hand gestures will trigger the handless community.

But the audience didn't accommodate the talking police state of one, so he came back threatening a coup:

lol https://t.co/nWpEYnq9lW
— Nightmare Vision (@Nightmare Vision)1564893884.0

"YOU GUYS/GALS/ZES I AM SUPER SERIOUS ABOUT BEING SENSITIVE TO LOUD NOISES, SO I'M NOW STANDING UP WITH A MICROPHONE YELLING AT YOU TO SHUT UP WITH YOUR SIDE CHATTER THAT'S TRIGGERING MY OTHERWISE CALM DEMEANOR. SERIOUSLY, I'M LIKE A SLOTH ON EDIBLES, SO CHILL. BUT YOUR CHATTERING. F*CK, I'M TURNING INTO THAT WET KOALA BEAR MEME THAT SCARES THE POO RIGHT OUT OF YOU!"

You can see "a world to win" on their podium banner. Not sure how these Democratic Socialists, who aren't even sturdy enough to be compared to snowflakes, will win anything other than the mockery of people like us.

But wait, because there's this:

What, praytell, is an "aggressive scent"? Money? Winning? Soap?

This is the future of American socialism. These are the people who want to control your tax dollars and dictate a better way to live. They can't use pronouns. They can't chatter. They can't talk to people who are not credentialed socialists. They can't see how they are to American political discourse what bird poop is to a windshield. Not just one bird turd. These socialists are what happens when you park your car at the beach under a lampost.

I'll take MAGAsexuals over this limp-wristed nerfballs any day. Any. Day.

NOT SUBSCRIBED TO THE PODCAST? FIX THAT! IT’S COMPLETELY FREE ON BOTH ITUNES HERE AND SOUNDCLOUD HERE.

LATEST VIDEO

Clay Travis' Bad News for Liberals: 75%+ of Sports Fans AREN'T Woke and He Explains Why Not

MORE POSTS

Gov. Ron DeSantis Delivers Powerful Pro-Freedom, Anti-Left Speech at CPAC

Grandma TAKES DOWN a Purse-Snatching Thug, Leaving Him Shirtless

Donald Trump's Tax Returns Have Been Handed Over to Manhattan DA

Hasbro Announces Mr. Potato Head is Gender-Neutral, Changes Name to 'Potato Head.' Why? (Updated)

ALL POSTS
NEWSLETTER

Sign up for Louder with Crowder’s FREE newsletter to get the best stories and show updates in your inbox.

© 2020 Blaze Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Privacy Policy  |  Terms of Use