One of our writers texted me today, “Caitlyn Jenner is on The View. Gee, do you think they’ll say something stupid?” Like, first female president stupid?
JEDEDIAH BILA: What about — you are so good at this. This politics stuff, honestly. I’m a center-right girl and I want to vote for you. I mean, would you run for office? I’m serious!
JENNER: Every time I get off the stage, they all go, ‘Oh, my God. You should run for office,’ and I’m thinking in my head, I’m, like, ‘I got way too many secrets!’
JOY BEHAR: And is the country ready for a woman president? That would be the question.
CAITLYN JENNER: There you go.
The WOMEN of The View think Caitlyn Jenner could be our first woman president. Do we need to go through this again (see Dear Liberals: Face it, You’re Anti-Science ‘Realityphobes’ and Wake Up ‘Feminists’: Transgenderism is the War on Women)?
I don’t care how Caitlyn shakes the junk in his trunk. I don’t care how many Mary Kay and Pampered Chef parties he attends. I don’t care if Caitlyn’s Pinterest boards are filled with nothing but leggy summer dresses, Instapot recipes, and thinspiration. He may think his milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. He may believe his bodacious ta-tas are the bounciest bosoms in all the land. He may wear lacy thongs which are no longer required to conceal a schlong.
Caitlyn Jenner is not a woman. Not now, not ever. No, that’s not hate speech, it’s DNA. Caitlyn is a man. Joy Behar is a woman. Caitlyn is a man. Jedediah Bila is a woman. Caitlyn is a man. Lena Dunham is a woman. Caitlyn is a man. Amy Schumer is a woman.
Caitlyn Jenner can run for office all he likes. But he’ll never be the first WOMAN anything. Ever.