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Vice Slams 'Animal House' for not Being 'Woke' Enough

Corey Stallings
July 30, 2018

If you've never seen Animal House, stop and do so now. I count it among my (Corey Stallings) all-time favorite movies. It's got unforgettable gags. A terrific '60s soundtrack. Kevin Bacon as a preppy douchenozzle named Chip. It's pretty much everything a good comedy should be.

In honor of the film's 40th anniversary, Vice decided to take a giant dump on it. For not being "woke" enough.

Standards were different in all sorts of ways, of course, and the film is certainly "problematic," as the kids today say. The loose plot is basically that a bunch of college dudes get fucked up all the time and try to sleep with a bunch of women and girls. Because of this misbehavior, they get kicked out of school, and respond by crashing a parade and causing a brawl. Oh yeah, and everyone involved is white, obviously.

Just as it's difficult to imagine watching Animal House in 1978, it's difficult to imagine coming to it today never having seen it before. Drunken frat boys don't seem so charming anymore, the film's gender politics are fucked beyond repair, and there's no one to latch onto as a sympathetic character, save for maybe Katy, or maybe the women exploited by the protagonists.

I can imagine a Vice-compliant Animal House now. Obviously there would be no fraternity, because they're not inclusive enough. Also, no white males. It would feature a dormitory of teetotaling asexual genderqueer people of color. Instead of partying, they congregate in the dorm's safe space and brainstorm ways to make the campus more socially conscious. Sounds great, doesn't it?

Funnily enough, Crowder had Animal House in his top "triggering" movies that you could never make today. One might call it prophetic. Though, anyone could see this coming. If there's a party, leftists will poop it. Even if said party is fictional.

This gives you a good idea of where the left wants to take things. Even low-brow comedy films have to meet their stringent political correctness standards. Yet, people are still oblivious as to why movies only get suckier each year.

Speaking of movies:

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