Well, thank the flying spaghetti monster Texas has so much space. For the third year in a row, U-Haul reports Texas is the number one state receiving one-way truck rentals. People be packing their trucks full of their worldly things, and plenty of their ideologies, and are hoofing it to the Lone Star State:

The company looked at migration trends in the United States, noting “growth states” by a net gain in one-way U-Haul trucks entering the state, versus the previous year.

Migration trends were calculated from more than 2 million one-way U-Haul truck rentals in 2018.

Arrivals of one-way trucks in Texas was up 5 percent. While departures were up 6 percent, compared to 2017 figures, the arriving U-Haul vehicles accounted for more than half (50.4 percent) of all one-way U-Haul traffic in the state.

Kind of a big deal considering in 2015, Texas was 39th on the list. Now they're numero uno.

Among those entering Texas is not me, but there are a number of things driving the Texan growth: mass migration of businesses, lower cost of living, no state income tax, and more space than you could ever need. Let's just say the areas of Texas where most of these people are going to have all the aesthetic beauty of a steamrolled pancake: flat, expansive, semi-palatable for the masses. Related: Texas to Become 3rd Largest Oil Producer in The World.

The problem is where these fine folks are coming from. Guess which states had the lowest growth.

Illinois ranked 50th for the third time in four years with the most net departures of U-Haul trucks. Also toward the bottom with more U-Hauls leaving than entering was Michigan at 49th place and California at 48th place.

Dem be blue states, y'all. Turning Texas even more purple. Yes, purple. Texas came within a scary breath of electing Beto O'Rourke, so let's be real here. Y'all aren't as red as you think. So if you're a Lone Star Stater, and you see U-Haul trucks migrating into your many, many, many subdivisions filled with giant McMansions, some advice: greet your new neighbors with the classic Texan charm, then offer them a primer on why they left the smelly shit hole from whence they couldn't pack their crap fast enough to invade your state. Remind them that while parts of California are beautiful, sure, California is completely insane. Remind them to visit California for holidays, but to leave the policies of California to California and everyone high on their own farts.

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