If you watched the Oscars, you're alone. Hopefully if you suffered through the sanctimonious tripe, you got by with a little help from your Crowder friends via the live stream. But if you were masochistic enough to watch the Oscars without Crowder-commentary, you were a lone wolf in a sea of tentacle porn. The Oscars historically SAD! ratings was fodder for President Trump. Who just couldn't let this failure go by.

Let's go over one silly point first: capitalize "president" only when it's a proper noun. "President of the United States" or "President Trump" are the only times to capitalize "president." Please stop capitalizing it just because you think it's important.

Now, Trump is right about the Oscars' ratings sucking worse than a drowning person gasping for air. Maybe try to refrain from making sweet love to a fish. I know the hashtag of old #LoveIsLove was all the rage, but could we try keeping the love a little more human? At least Daryl Hannah had legs in Splash!

Sorry, digression. Despite Trump not yet making 50% in approval ratings, despite him going full gun control mommy blogger in calling for gun confiscation first, due process maybe later, Trump is still far more popular than the elitist snot lemmings prancing down the red carpet. Trump is at least genuine. Sometimes he's a genuine ass, sure, but at least his assholery isn't scripted.

Which we can't say for the self-important, glittering rape gremlins lecturing us from Hollywood stages.