President Donald Trump has canceled the nuclear summit, to have taken place in Singapore, with Kim Jong Un. President Trump sent a letter to Rocket Man making his intentions and message well known. You may think Trump delegated the letter-writing to someone with a degree in English. No. Trump wrote this letter all by himself. Clearly. Dare I say it, it’s pure Trumpy. Trumptastic. It’s Yugely Trump all the way. For that, it’s utterly delightful.
Full transcript below the image. Because I wuvs you.
Dear Mr. Chairman:
We greatly appreciate your time, patience, and effort with respect to our recent negotiations and discussions relative to a summit long sought by both parties, which was scheduled to take place on June 12 in Singapore. We were informed that the meeting was requested by North Korea, but that to us is totally irrelevant. I was very much looking forward to being there with you. Sadly, based on the tremendous anger and open hostility displayed in your most recent statement, I feel it is inappropriate, at this time, to have this long-planned meeting. Therefore, please let this letter serve to represent that the Singapore summit, for the good of both parties, but to the detriment of the world, will not take place. You talk about your nuclear capabilities, but ours are so massive and powerful that I pray to God they will never have to be used.
M’kay, let’s continue.
I felt a wonderful dialogue was building up between you and me, and ultimately, it is only that dialogue that matters. Someday, I look very much forward to meeting you. In the meantime, I want to thank you for the release of the hostages who are now home with their families. That was a beautiful gesture and was very much appreciated.
This is like a sappy breakup letter. “We had such good times, frankly. But you had to go and be a high maintenance, level ten clinger. So sadly this must end. But I want to thank you for leaving me your Grateful Dead t-shirt. That was a beautiful gesture and was very much appreciated.”
If you change your mind having to do with this most important summit, please do not hesitate to call me or write. The world, and North Korea in particular, has lost a great opportunity for lasting peace and great prosperity and wealth. This missed opportunity is truly a sad moment in history.
In summary, Trump told Kim Jong that he, Rocket Man, was making a mistake by being such a little pudgy bog troll. While simultaneously asserting America could nuke his crappy country off Planet Earth.
We’ve not hesitated to criticize Trump when he went off the reservation, nor to praise Trump when he’s done well. While Trump wasn’t my first, second, or third choice for top billing on the presidential ticket, I’ve gotta say he’s done some good things. There may be plenty of people who find this letter frankly distasteful. I found it frankly phenomenal. The world needs to understand America is a great country willing to work it out with other nations. But at the same time, if your country is looking to meddle in duplicity, or run with scissors in nuclear facilities, America can crack a few knuckles and push some big nuke buttons.