The country of hockey and maple syrup has been in the headlines almost as much as Donald Trump. They lost in women’s hockey to the U.S., a devastating blow to Canuck self esteem. Then, Justin Trudeau embarrasses his nation by showing up to India in traditional attire. Now, Trump is calling Canada “smooth” in reference to trade.
Trump was talking about the North American Free Trade Agreement, during which he threw some shade at the neighbors we pretend don’t exist. It’s like the ugly house on the block, bringing down the price of real estate for the rest. The hole from which Justin Trudeau crawled.
Trump on U.S. trade with Canada:
"We lose a lot with Canada. People don't know it. Canada is very smooth. They have you believe that its wonderful – and it is – for them. Not wonderful for us, wonderful for them." pic.twitter.com/RmXoJ5jtu4
— NBC Politics (@NBCPolitics) February 26, 2018
Clearly, Canada does think they’re amazing. Just look at those dance moves. Pure fire.
Of course, not all of Canada was going to take the shade.
Trump wrongly asserts that US losing a lot of money to Canada in trade. Tells US governors 'Canada is very smooth. They'll have you believe it's wonderful, and it is. For them.' US trade office figures show US enjoyed $12.5M surplus in trade in goods and services in 2016.
— CBC News Alerts (@CBCAlerts) February 26, 2018
"Canada is very smooth." — Donald Trump
No one has ever said this about Canada before. Not ever. Never.
— Chris Cillizza (@CillizzaCNN) February 26, 2018
Listen, Chris, this insult is the best compliment Canada has received. They’re currently the geek in high school who took Star Wars themed senior pictures with his cat “Schrödinger.” Then reported everyone who laughed at him to the principle for hate speech.
Donny, are you okay? You okay? You okay, Donny?
You've been hit by…
You've been struck by…
A smooth Canada. https://t.co/9dTQw11m69
— Alexandra Erin (@alexandraerin) February 26, 2018
Let's replace "O Canada" with a song entitled "Canada is very smooth."
— Aaron Wherry (@AaronWherry) February 26, 2018
I agree. Would be much better than the current anthem. Maybe add a leather jacket. T’would give the country an edge which was sawed off by Justin Trudeau, with the blade he used to shave down his own Adam’s apple.
Of course, not everything to come from Canada is bad. Crowder for example. There are some logical folks in the country still, who aren’t to blame for their universial healthcare or cap on freedom of speech. It’s the nonsense which keeps spilling over the border making us call them “smooth.” They’re pushing “compassion, tolerance, and equality” as a means by which to strip people of fundamental rights. Canada is an example of why Americans should value freedom, and why we value blunt politicians like Trump.
Speaking of which, Canada is the perfect example of socialized healthcare, and how it’s a total disaster: