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HEROISM: Man Pays Taxes... with 300,000 Pennies!

Team Crowder
January 13, 2017

The word "hero" gets thrown around a lot these days. Paying your taxes with 300,000 pennies just to stick it to the state? That reaches our threshold...

Nick Stafford, of Cedar Bluff, Virginia, told the paper he wheeled the pennies into the office to prove a point and get back at state government.

He claimed he was given the runaround and forced to sue the state after he was denied direct phone numbers to DMV offices in his area following a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request.

“If they were going to inconvenience me then I was going to inconvenience them,” he told the newspaper. “I think the backbone to our republic and our democracy is open government and transparency in government and it shocks me that a lot of people don’t know the power of FOIA.”

Did he pay his fine? Yep. Did he break any laws? Nope. Did he manage to take 2017 by storm and totally make a point with which all of us can relate? Hell yes.

Nick Stafford, you the man. We've all dreamed of finding creative ways to tell governmental zombies where they can shove their bureaucracy. Many of us simply lack the creative prowess, others the patience, even more the backbone. Hey, don't feel shame. The government holds far too much power over you. It's okay to chicken out. I mean, how many of us have wanted to put "F*ck You" in the memo of our April 15 checks but didn't for fear of a "spontaneous" audit?

Oh, and before you wizards of lame chime in with "Well I get a refund in taxes!" you're a gullible moron. The IRS took too much money from you throughout the year, and now they're returning it. It could've been earning interest in YOUR bank account, making car payments, or funding your bizarre gay sexual exploits. No judgments. But the IRS managed to not only steal more from you, they also made you grateful. To get your own money back. Think about it.

Anyway, the January Hero Award for Best Figurative Middle Finger goes to Nick Stafford. So inspirational I might cry.

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