The number one concern most parents have is how to best raise their children for the wellbeing of their children. In fact, a lot of new parents worry about how to not “f*ck up” their kid. I used the censored quotation there because I hear and read about this trepidation often. Most parents are terrified they’re going to damage their children through just being human. Most parents put their children’s needs far before their own. Bear these normal, average sentiments of concern in mind while we go through and read about the “transman” “father” who gave birth to “his” son. Spoiler alert: liberal use of scare quotes.
Happy Father’s day from CNN:
But most new dads didn’t give birth to their child. They didn’t breastfeed them. And they don’t endure glares from strangers when they go shopping with their wife and their toddler son.
Already, CNN has made the article not about the son, who never got to choose his parents, but about Sabastion, the transgender man who is already set up as the victim of society for being “different.” It’s one thing for CNN to focus on Sabastion, who’s the reason to read this article. Fine. But it also seems Sabastion is mostly concerned about Sabastion. Therein lies the problem.
Sabastion, 24, is a transgender man who lives with his wife Angel in suburban Atlanta. Assigned the female gender at birth, he began transitioning five years ago. It’s a process that felt more complete last month when he had surgery to remove his breasts.
The last sentence is key to a point made down below. Sabastion is a woman who wants to be a man and therefore removed its breasts.
With Father’s Day approaching, Sabastion finds himself thinking about gender roles and what it means to be a dad. He wants Jaxen, their 20-month-old son, to have as normal a childhood as possible.
Then Sabastion and his wife “Angel” who was born a man, should’ve started with a normal spelling of Jackson. Now “Jaxen” will have to forever correct people on how to spell his name. That’s point number one.
Point number two is, if parents Sabastion and Angel truly wanted their son to have “as normal a childhood as possible” then mommy and daddy should be mommy and daddy. Where mommy is a woman with breasts and daddy is a man who refuses to stop for directions. As mommy looks out the window quietly while internally screaming.
But a normal life for Jaxen is not what Sabastion really wants. What Sabastion really wants is to identify and be a man, not to give the child a “normal” childhood. If “normal” childhood was concern numero uno, Sabastion would’ve kept the mammaries and sought psychiatric help. Instead, Sabastion went full douche.
But when it comes to lessons learned as a toddler, there are some things Sabastion wants to teach Jaxen, father to son. One of them is how to pee standing up — something Sabastion does with the help of a detachable prosthetic.
Here’s where I have to cis-splain some things: men don’t know what it’s like to be women, and women don’t know what it’s like to be men. Which isn’t to say we can’t empathize with each other. Nor am I saying one gender has it harder or easier to slog through this mortal life. But somehow, as a woman, I don’t think a father’s too concerned with teaching his son how to properly whizz. Urination position ranks low on the Importance of Masculinity scale. It’s just potty training. A mother’s concern about her daughter isn’t so much “I worry about teaching her how to appropriately pop a squat,” but more “I want to keep her safe as long as I can, I want her to be confident, know her way, be smart, honest, and happy.” #Basics
Compare a mother or father’s concern for their children with this little nugget from Sabastion:
“I’m going to be a better father being comfortable in myself and him seeing that confidence in me,” he says.
Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. ME!
“I can’t wait to be there for my kid,” says, Sabastion, who works as a security guard at a distribution center. “The more my body resembles his, the better he’ll understand.”
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me!!!
When Sabastion was pregnant, someone close to him threatened to take the baby away, saying his life at home would be unnatural. For security reasons, he and Angel were listed as anonymous at the hospital.
Probably because Jaxen’s life at home would be unnatural. As evidenced already by various pull quotes from this article, where Mother Sebastion is most concerned about being seen as a man, both by Jaxen and all of society.
Not all transgender people choose to have surgery as part of a gender transition, and Sabastion knows looks shouldn’t matter.
But he worries that the scornful way some people treat him could get passed down to Jaxen. That’s not what he wants for his son.
Again, if Sabastion is worried about Jaxen, then Sabastion needs to carry that concern into action: by not pushing the transgender agenda onto Jaxen. By giving Jaxen what Jaxen wants: two normal parents who are not engaged in social experimentation for their own feelings.
So last month’s surgery wasn’t just important for him, but for Jaxen too. Sabastion wants his son to see himself in him.
“My son won’t see breasts on his dad,” he says, watching Jaxen play with a ball. “He won’t be as different from me.”
Angel is Jaxen’s dad. Sabastion is Jaxen’s mom. Jaxen is facing a lifetime of confusion, all for his parent’s whims. Yes, whims. Watch Sex Change Regrets With Former Transgender, Walt Heyer.
We say this is an example of child abuse for a few reasons:
- Despite what DadMom and MomDad say, their primary concern isn’t their son. It’s themselves. They want what they think is best for themselves: being the gender they feel like they are, with society accepting their delusions.
- They’re saddling Jaxen with a lifetime of confusion about what it means to be a man, a woman, and a person. What Jaxen wants is a normal mother and father. What Jaxen is getting is a freakshow. With greater implications we can’t fully anticipate.
- Based on how concerned Jaxen’s parents are with the feelings of Jaxen’s parents, I have to assume Jaxen will be surrounded by other like-minded people. Other transgender men and women who are focused solely on their own feelings, validation, and societal acceptance. Societal acceptance which starts with bullying tactics and shame pushed on everyone else who dare disagree with them.
Here’s how CNN closes their “Fathers” Day article about Sabastion:
“People think trans people can’t be good parents, and that’s not true,” Sabastion adds. “Trans parents are just like any other parents.”
I think we’ve proven that no, they’re not just like “any other parents.” Unless we’re referring to the other self-absorbed parents who put their own feelings above their children’s welfare. In which case Sabastion is spot on.