I remember when "trans-species" was just a fancy word for the ugly lizard guy from Ripley's Believe It or Not! Ah, those were the good ole days. Back when these sorts of things were on par with circus acts. Just yesterday Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis were dressing up as a couple of broads to make us laugh. People thought a man in women's clothing was a joke, not an identity. Now... well, we have this.

It's called "puppy play," and yes, it's a serious thing. Adult men slip into leather dog suits and pretend to be puppies. As in baby pet dogs. Don't worry, I'm cringing too.

Secret Life of the Human Pups [documentary] is a sympathetic look at the world of pup play, a movement that grew out of the BDSM community and has exploded in the last 15 years as the internet made it easier to reach out to likeminded people.

[H]uman pups tends to be male, gay, have an interest in dressing in leather, wear dog-like hoods, enjoy tactile interactions like stomach rubbing or ear tickling, play with toys, eat out of bowls and are often in a relationship with their human "handlers".

My thoughts exactly.

All of them are cis, straight males. Just kidding. They're mostly gay. Remember when we said normalizing gay marriage was a slippery slope? I rescind that statement. It opened up the floodgates for all things gag-worthy (see NOT NORMAL: 'Transgender' Man Claims He's a 6-Year-Old Girl. Abandons Family).

Whatever happened to shame? We could use some more. This is one of those wacky fetishes that people used to be terrified to reveal to the world. Now it gets a documentary, courtesy of the left. A sympathetic pat on the back and "there, there, just be yourself." Trans-agers? Pedophiles? Flamboyant men dancing dangerously close to bestiality? Maybe don't be yourself. Yourself is probably the worst self of all the selves. Seek psychiatric help. Immediately.

But sit, Sparky, there's more weird:

In the documentary two pups walk through London pretending to wee on lampposts to raise awareness of their identity. Whether we see it as a kink, an identity, a reaction to an early experience, a form of escapism or a fetish, the main thing, says Tom, is that we see it at all; that we know it's there and accept it. "It feels like you can be gay, straight, bisexual, trans and be accepted," he says. "All I want is for the pup community to be accepted in the same way."

I believe the word he's sniffing for is "perverse." This guy wants you to think it's perfectly acceptable to walk around on all fours and lick his own butt. If you cringe, you're the weirdo. Welcome to 2016, where judging a grown man who thinks he's anything other than a grown man is seen as "hateful." You know how people get upset when you liken gayness to any strange form of sexuality? Kindly direct them to this quote: "It feels like you can be gay, straight, bisexual, trans and be accepted. [We] want to be accepted in the same way." From the panting mouths of pups.

Still not convinced that "trans-species" is actually a thing? Go be a good dog and see for yourself.

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