This Thanksgiving as your dolloping butter and gravy all over your turkey, which was killed so you may eat it, if a liberal family member or friend chimes in with something inane about Trump, white privilege, harassment, global warming or how butter is going to kill you, know all of us at Louder with Crowder wish you all the best. In throwing a drumstick at them. Aim well, friends.
If you don’t feel like wasting food, or wish to keep the dinner table free of violence, try one of these handy comebacks instead.
1. “We shouldn’t even be celebrating Thanksgiving. The white man killed the Native Americans.”
Ah, the classic white man’s guilt clap trap. This is high and mighty snobbery at its finest. Sure, you could lecture about the history of the world is one nation conquering the other (England won’t be feasting on turkey because, surprise, we kicked their royal butts in not one but TWO wars), or you could answer their statement with a question of your own. Ask the liberal if they own property. Even if they don’t own land, they own something. A car works. Ask if, in all their bleeding heart glory, they want to give it back to the Indians. When they say no, throw the gravy at their face.
Also here are some inconvenient Facts about Native Americans. Plus this video:
2. “Hillary would’ve been a much better leader than Donald Trump!”
We’re still doing this? It’s been two years. Time to accept reality and move on.
A washed up sack of whale dung has more leadership ability than Hillary Clinton. The roadkill you passed on your way to dinner has more moral integrity than Hillary Clinton. Donald Trump isn’t a beacon of morality, sure. But when it came down to lever-pulling time, it was far easier to give the mantle to Trump. Instead of Hillary Clinton: pantsuited handmaiden of the anti-Christ.
- Hillary Clinton Adviser Claims She Will Run For President in 2020
- Hillary Clinton Takes Aim at NRA, Silencers After Las Vegas Shooting
- Dear Hillary Clinton: You Lost Because America Hates You
- Donna Brazile’s Exposé on How Hillary Rigged the DNC is Damning
3. “We need gun control! Now!”
We need dumbass control. Now!
See, two can play this game. Creating more laws because a criminal broke the law (you know murder is totes illegal, yeah?) makes as much sense as hiring a blind person to judge a beauty pageant. No offense to you blind people. As to “Why does ANYONE NEED AN AR-15!?” malarkey: because screw you, they’re awesome. That and the Second Amendment says I can have a weapon. It doesn’t specify how mean and black it cannot look.
Here are some rather inconvenient, narrative busting stories to really peeve that anti-gun loon passing the rolls.
- Hitler Loved Gun Control
- David Hogg Says Gun Control Should Have Been Addressed Centuries Ago. Umm.
- Police Confiscate Man’s Guns Over Suicide Claim. Without Due Process
4. “…BUT [SOLVE FOR X] is White Supremacy!”
Today’s “modern” leftist thinks everything is white supremacy. If everything is white supremacy, then nothing is white supremacy. My best advice here is to ask them to define “white supremacy.” Like when they describe the tumbler-pushing Jew as the epitome of white supremacy, ask “What does Shapiro say that makes you think he’s a white supremacist?” I promise you’ll enjoy the response. Or lack thereof.
Check out these links for more examples of “white supremacy.”
- WATCH: Media’s White Supremacy Obsession Explained
- Video: Leftist Teacher Rants About ‘White Supremacy.’ Gets OWNED by Student
- Idiot Liberals Now Think the OUTDOORS is a Form of White Supremacy
5. “WE / TRUMP NEEDS TO TONE DOWN THE POLITICAL RHETORIC”
This is frequently said or written in ALL CAPS so you know the utterer is super serious. We’ve been over this more times than users hit the down vote on Amy Schumer. But if you’re still dealing with this crap, some resources:
- WATCH: Julia Louis-Dreyfus Compares Trump’s Rhetoric to the Holocaust
- Media, Left Blames Shooting on ‘Trump’s Rhetoric” Um, Don’t They Call Us Nazis?
- BRAGGING? Antifa Website Proudly Promotes Violence Against ‘Nazi’ Trump Supporters
6. “Transwomen are real women!”
Say it with me: men with an X and Y chromosome are men. Women with two X chromosomes are women. If you’re a man who parades about in a dress, you’re just a man who parades around in a dress. Also, a freak. Gender isn’t fluid. Unlike a liberal’s mental state. Or understanding of reality.
- Transgender Wins Women’s Cycling World Championship
- Transwomen Win Girls Track Meet. The Looks on the Real Girls Faces Says it All.
- New Documentary Features Transgenders Who Regret Switching Genders
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
And seriously, don’t throw rocks. Throw boulders. Manlier.