Top 10 Hilarious Reactions to Jeffrey Epstein ‘Suicide’ News
Jeffrey Epstein "committed suicide" over the weekend. My first reaction to the news was probably your first reaction to the news. "Suicide" is in quotation marks for all the reasons you discussed over the weekend, likely with plenty of gifs, memes, and casual references to Hillary Clinton which weren't so casual after all. While there were plenty of hot takes and jokes to be had at the sex pervert's untimely demise, none reached the level of clever as these ten. So let's gather as one to console ourselves in the wake of the famous child-prostitute connoisseur's tragic end.
To get us warmed up, let's first go to the Notorious Tumbler Merchant who had plenty of asbestos to spread with this party-pooping wet blanket infested with cancer:
If you believe the Clintons crafted a genius plan to murder Epstein you’re going to have to explain why Hillary was… https://t.co/ru2X4x0BqN— Ben Shapiro (@Ben Shapiro)1565618193.0
Thanks, Ben. We'll be sure to invite you to our next party where we all sit around and stare at each other, using our eyebrow gestures in lieu of jokes. We'll stock up on marshmallows and beer. You bring your dictionary.
Now let's have fun celebrating. Oh, for you people saying "It's always a tragedy when someone dies/is suicided, how dare you laugh at this!" go away. Epstein was a disgusting, twisted, evil pervert. I shed no tears and make no apologies for mocking his death. Self-inflicted or inflicted upon himself by "others."
Starting from the bottom and working our way to the top (that's what she said):
TEN: Suicide note, totally written by Jeffery, totally
Jeffery #Epstein's suicide note has just been found, which I think will put an end to a lot of absurd speculation https://t.co/7wp63n9QFg— Charlie Skelton (@Charlie Skelton)1565444403.0
Seems totally legit. No one questions this.
NINE & EIGHT: Michael Knowles ignores Ben Shapiro's eyebrows, responds to "Jeffrey R Epstein"
@EpsteinJeffrey @jtLOL If you see this man, run. https://t.co/t71zPflBpR— Potential Future NoKo Dictator Michael Knowles (@Potential Future NoKo Dictator Michael Knowles)1565565991.0
Oh to be a somebody with another famous somebody's name. I feel for you. But I feel most for you good people sharing a moniker with bad people, who have to look over your shoulders for mustached killers.
SEVEN: Parody account of New York Times hits the right chord. A chord not used to strangle a snitch.
"Jeffrey Epstein was a colleague, mentor, and most importantly a friend. His silence will echo around the world and… https://t.co/SsJ8tYeNnN— Neo York Times Op Ed (@Neo York Times Op Ed)1565444846.0
The smug bitch face really sells the theory Hillary is a cold-hearted killer. If not a killer, then just cold-hearted.
SIX: Babylon Bee floats a theory. Don't fact-check it, Snopes.
CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide https://t.co/knwcO4tjId— The Babylon Bee (@The Babylon Bee)1565446532.0
Reminder to Snopes: it's a PARODY SITE. Get it? It's totally a joke. Not real. Not even close to real. Stop.
FIVE: Doing what he loved... pleasing Bill Clinton
FOUR: RedSteeze with the Body Count meme
...that the Clintons actually do murder people.— Stephen L. Miller (@Stephen L. Miller)1565546829.0
Stop it, Stephen. Hillary wouldn't harm a fly. But she would harm whomever the fly lands on.
THREE: Hug the pedos in your life PSA
Hug your billionaire pedophile friends today. Tell them you love them before it’s too late.— Lucie Steiner (@Lucie Steiner)1565450122.0
Use your little girl voice when you do it. Wear pigtails.
TWO: John McAffee NAILS IT
I was stunned by Epstein's suicide, though probably not as much as Epstein himself.— John McAfee (@John McAfee)1565449345.0
No one was as surprised that Jeff would off himself more than Jeff.
ONE: 'Seinfeld' Episode
This one is pure gold. Dare you not to hear this in the character's voices.
a seinfeld episode called the inmate where george is on a tour of MCC and epstein is like "hey nice shirt" then ask… https://t.co/CJvLmMZ57e— feral gamer i demand justice (@feral gamer i demand justice)1565507623.0
kramer: *BURSTS into the apartment* you guys hear about epstein? WHACKED him! jerry: oh we heard alright, george… https://t.co/JIalFbcEzb— feral gamer i demand justice (@feral gamer i demand justice)1565507880.0
george: *back at the prison* so i was here the other day on a tour and a funny thing happened and i seem to have le… https://t.co/eNoz2K7niK— feral gamer i demand justice (@feral gamer i demand justice)1565508613.0
george: *standing next to cute female corrections officer* you know...i killed epstein 😏— feral gamer i demand justice (@feral gamer i demand justice)1565510162.0
Did I miss any? Leave your favorites in the comments!