PRO TIP: If you’re going to rob a 7-Eleven with fake guns, check to make sure the security guard’s gun isn’t real. Better advice: graduate high school. If you can’t graduate high school, there’s always janitorial services. Someone has to scrub toilets, might as well be dumbasses like these glowing jewels:
KNUCKLEHEAD #1: It’s fake! It’s fake!
BAD ASS GUARD: Oh well, mine is real. Get up! Put your hands behind your back.
KNUCKLEHEAD #2: I’m shot?
BAD ASS GUARD: F*** yeah!
To paraphrase Apu, someone was pushed too far by convenience store bandits. Cheers to you, Mr. Security Guard Man.
Not the first time we’ve seen hoodlums hold up the wrong store (see Thugs Hold Up Convenience Store. Get BLASTED by Gun-Toting Owner… and Thanks, Second Amendment! Convenience Store Clerk Drops Armed Robber). But it is the first time the guard was a total bad ass about it. So good I thought for a second this wasn’t real, but scripted. Wouldn’t be totally surprised to find out it was. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. In this case, people really are dumber than a bag of all yellow Starburst.
Kids, let this story be a lesson to you: stay in school. Learn. If you’re not learning anything useful in school, go learn something useful. Do not blacken the orange tip of a toy gun to raid a 7-Eleven till. Lest you get a cap popped in your stupid ass.