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There's Now Lacy Lingerie for Men. Sweet Meteor of Death, Strike Us Now...

Courtney Kirchoff
August 27, 2018

What happens in the bedroom between consenting adults is totally their business. If you want to gender swap Pirates of the Caribbean for a fun Friday night, who am I to judge? You gotta do you, matey. That said, I just wonder what lady ever wanted her guy to dress up in lacy bra and panties. Other than possibly a closet lesbian. I bring this up only because the company brought it up. Gay guys loving this? Not even a question. But women? Either I'm totally out of touch, or humanity has survived long past its expiration date.

From the UK Mirror:

HommeMystere is selling lacy bras, matching knickers and for the male who wants to wear something a little more sexy under his clothes.

Who is that male? Nevermind, don't tell me. I don't want to know. Don't direct message me. Please. Don't. Keep your privates' private life private.

If that's not enough, men can also get their own silk nighties, baby dolls and bodysuits.

The company's bras don't come with actual cup sizes, but some padded options are available and sizes range from small to extra large.

Turn your saggy mewbs into bodacious melons. The special lady in your life has always wanted the smaller jugs. She won't say it with her lips. She says it with her eyes every time she adjusts her double front bags for your visual pleasure. Check out this next statement for context:

According to the website, it's not just the men getting a kick out of the soft, luxurious underwear - the women love it too.

What women love their men wearing seductive teddys? Again, gay guys rocking the silks isn't a shocker. I'm not discussing them right now. I'm just wondering if maybe I've picked the wrong girlfriends. Maybe we're not girl-talking properly. Hang on, I need a bucket in which to deposit my feelings.

As the die-hard capitalist that I am, I'm not opposed to a business selling fancy lace-wear to bros tired of being stereotypically masculine in the daylight hours. What do I know? Maybe a day of hammering drywall really leaves a man hankering for something frilly on his hairy man nipples. Though if I were to don a sexist hat, methinks the kind of dudes slipping on silk nighties won't be found wiping sweat from their brow on a job site, a gym, or even while walking Fi-Fi, their wife's entitled MinPin. They're just probably not "ladies' men."

Though I am betting men who envy Caitlyn Jenner's bravery are hitting the "Order" button on a black lace number. Probably not for their lady friends, though, as the website is trying to suggest. But so they might feel what it's like to be a lady. For the special guys in their life.

Ladies, am I wrong?

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