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Democratic Texas Candidate Receives Majority of Funds From Deer Semen

Nichole Cooper
March 03, 2018

Questionable donations are a common occurrence in the pocketbooks of Democrat politicians. Must go hand-in-hand with the Democratic tendency toward the ugly. Maybe a propensity for bank fraud is directly related to the level of "OH MY LORD!" one shrieks as one looks upon the unshapely countenance of the liberal in question. It would explain a lot.

Prepare for a whole new level of ugly money. A Texas race for a Democratic House seat is giving a whole new meaning to "ew, that's gross."

The Dallas News reported Thursday that Ana Lisa Garza, a district court judge running a primary challenge against eight-term Democrat Ryan Guillen, has received $51,000 in in-kind donations to her campaign, listed as individual donations of frozen deer semen straws.

Talk deerty to me.

Fred Gonzalez, a Texas deer breeder who serves as treasurer of the Texas Deer Association, told the Dallas News that the group’s political action committee has received more than $975,000 in deer semen donations since 2006, and has given more than $885,000 in the same period of time.

“Semen is a very common way for us to donate. One collection on a buck could lead to 60 straws sometimes. If you have a desirable animal, it’s a way to bring value without breaking the bank.”

Getting more bang for their bucks. These are truly Texas doe-nations. Well done, America.

Oh, deer.

That was the last one.

Look, donations are donations are donations. We're not saying donating via deer jiz is illegal. Only that it's weird. We'd ask PETA what they thought about their party of choice accepting in-kind donations in the form of Bambi's frozen finest. But why?

Next time you're asked to "donate" let this story be an inspirational moment. Instead of writing a check, go tap a wild animal you come across having a little fun with itself. It's the Democrat way.

If you need a segue from this story to the video below, you're not paying attention.

~Co-written by Nichole Cooper and Courtney Kirchoff

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