If you want a great dining experience, employ a little French cooking. If you want to be saved from a terrorist, get an American. Try not to get the two confused.
On Friday August 21, an armed gunman boarded a Belgium to Paris train to cause a little bit of mayhem in the form of death, destruction and misery.
Chris Norman, a 62-year-old British consultant, told reporters he had been sitting in the same carriage as the Americans when they heard a shot.
“I looked up and saw a guy carrying an AK-47 or at least I assume it was some kind of machine-gun,” he said. “It could have been a real carnage, there’s no question about that.”
In an act of bravery, the American soldiers and Norman, the British consultant, saved the France-bound train. Shockingly, the heroes didn’t use diplomacy or offer the terrorist a freshly buttered croissant as they sat it out to talk about their feelings and white wounding.
Alek Skarlatos, a 22-year-old member of the U.S. National Guard from Oregon, said his friend, who is also in the military, had been injured while he grappled with the gunman. They eventually got the attacker under control, Norman said.
“I just got back from Afghanistan last month, and this was my vacation from Afghanistan,” Skarlatos said.
So two Yankees and a Brit saved the day. To be fair, the French did help the colonists and General George Washington against the tyrannical British way back in our revolutionary war. But we kind of repaid that debt by saving the bon vivants from Adolf Hitler in a little 1940s skirmish called “World War II.” You may have heard of it.
Anyway, no one was killed in the terrorist attack, because an American acted with force (read: violence) against someone who was also using force, and therefore saved everyone on the train from the terrorist’s evil plan of mass death. Imagine that.
Details are still trickling out, but we’re going to bet that the terrorist, who hails from Morocco, probably wasn’t a Christian. He probably wasn’t out to shoot the people on the train as an act of protest against red wine and berets. Maybe the would-be-shooter was just lonely and wanted some companionship. Might we suggest MuslimSingles.com