Each day we overwhelm your brains with the content you've come to love from the Louder with Crowder Dot Com website.
But Facebook is...you know, Facebook. Their algorithm hides our ranting and raving as best it can. The best way to stick it to Zuckerface?
Sign up for the LWC News Blast! Get your favorite right-wing commentary delivered directly to your inbox!
Stormy Daniels Busted for Fondling Strip Club Patrons. Her Lawyer Claims Conspiracy!
Stormy Daniels online profile reads: enjoys books, romcoms, long walks on the beach, and grabbing patrons of her strip club by the nether regions. Sweet little Stormy got busted for copping a feel on what turned out to be undercover cops. This is, in the Stripper Handbook, a naughty-naughty no-no.
Daniels, whose real name is Stephanie Clifford, was arrested for “allegedly allowing a customer to touch her while on stage in a non-sexual manner,” Avenatti tweeted, with the hashtags “setup” and “basta,” which is Italian for enough.
Daniels was topless when she “knowingly” touched a female Columbus police officer’s buttocks, placed her hands on the officer’s breast and then put her chest in the officer’s face while “on the premise of a sexually oriented business,” according to charging documents from the Franklin County Municipal Court obtained by WBNS.
That's one classy lady. To be fair, people who patronize strip clubs probably aren't there to get to know someone's beautiful soul. They're probably not watching the naked ladies dance to elevate their intellect. Still, rules are rules. Strip rules are there for a reason. You're allowed to watch, not to touch. It's a strip club, not a pervert petting zoo.
The charging docs obtained by WBNS @10TV allege Stormy Daniels violated Ohio law by touching a "specified anatomica… https://t.co/UvyepglLOg— Steven Portnoy (@Steven Portnoy) 1531388425.0
Cinderella needed Stormy Daniels as her fairy godmother. Just as a suggestion for the reboot.
A 2007 state law called the Community Defense Act prohibits dancers from touching customers and vice versa – excluding immediate family members.
Although the law has been in effect for over a decade, a 2017 report from The Columbus Dispatch found that it is seldom enforced.
Here's where Stormy's lawyer has a point. Strippers have apparently been grinding up on the customers for quite some time, and suddenly cops decided to bust Stormy for getting booby with it.
The defense of "But everyone else is doing it" won't fly in a court of law, for the same reason it doesn't work when a motorcycle cop in black high boots pulls you over for speeding when the cars in front and back of you were keeping pace.
Also, if you're Stormy Daniels, and you're trying to sue someone, pro-tip: don't break the law. Even if you broke the law in the past because everyone else was doing it, don't be naive. You're not above the law simply because you invented a new bra size. Supersized bazooms don't exclude you from laws from rubbing those bazooms in someone's face space.
In news that matters: