Just when you thought the world couldn't get any crazier...

We now have a NYU Professor who's decided he knows how to best combat climate change. It's not more canvas bags or fleets of Priuses or even cap and trade. It's actually creating little mutants, aka your kids.

This isn't something from The Onion or the newest Brian Singer film, it's real life. Professor Matthew Liao wants to use hormonal supplements to make your children smaller... because that would be hugely beneficial for the planet. Liao's theory is shrinking humans would help fight climate change since "larger people consume more energy than smaller people." It's a new era of midgets. No more tall privilege.

So instead of going with the evolutionary model of bigger and better, Liao proposes "closing growth plates" on your children. Hey, think of how much you'll save on clothes and shoes. Take one for Mother Earth.

Here we have the underlying problem with the environmental religion. They're more concerned with the worship of the planet than they are with the well being of people. Should we be good stewards of the Earth? Of course. But does that mean we should inject our children with hormones to stop them from growing? Uh...nah. We're not Nazis. Or pigmies.

But Liao wasn't finished. In summarizing his theory, he said,

"Other things being equal larger people consume more energy than smaller people. They also, for example, take more energy to transport larger people. They — you need more clothes — fabrics to clothes larger people rather than smaller people. They wear out shoes, carpets, et cetera, et cetera more than smaller people. So think of the life time carbon footprints. That’s quite a lot.”

Or if you're in the mood to vomit, you can watch the entire, ridiculous interview:

Bottom line... if you're over 5'5" - YOU are the problem. YOU are the reason the climate is changing. Because we have to make bigger clothes for you and you wear out carpets faster than your short friends, you heightist! See, tall privilege. Minorities are hardest hit, especially the smaller statured minorities. Like maybe the guy who's promoting this idea. I know, racism. Whatever. He's a heightist, so it all evens out.