The year is 2016. We have the most cool stuff here in modern America - from cars to medicine, phones and education. Also a ton of STDs. More than ever, actually...

National health officials sounded the alarm last week about a troubling rise in chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis rates, with cases reaching an all-time high in 2015.

Now health officials say the picture is even worse in California, where sexually transmitted disease rates are higher than the national average and climbing faster. "Cases are going up in California at a concerning rate," director of the California Department of Public Health said Tuesday. "This is the second year in a row that we have seen increases in all three diseases."

Total cases in California were the highest they have been since the state began keeping records in 1990. Officials are unsure why there has been such a big jump both in the state and nationwide rates...

Turns out nobody really knows where all the STDs are coming from. Classic case of immaculate infection.

Why so many venereal surprises? There's dumpster truck loads of free condoms. According to sexperts, having access to all the fun time "protection" STDs should be easy to avoid. Granted, condoms don't always work... Which brings us to the heart of the issue. There's a surefire way to avoid STDs: stop having sex with all the strangers. When one reserves sexy timez for one's lifetime partner only? Congratulations, no genital illness for you. WINNING.

But of course if you're only lying with one, that makes you a prude. Also judgemental. Disease free, sure, but JUDGEY. How dare you. Read Waiting Till The Wedding Night--Getting Marreied the Right Way.

Casual sex is the new norm, which means STDs are just collateral damage. Thanks leftists. That's right, I'm pegging the blame on you. Put some ointment on it. Or maybe something stronger. If you have crabs.

When it comes to sexual grossness, California got hit the hardest. Interestingly enough, California is also a leftist craphaven... Complete with buttloads of sex education and free resources like condoms, birth control, screenings, and more. Still, those resources haven't done much in the way of stopping the spread of sex ouchies.

Of course, nobody is saying that people shouldn't be free to have their sexual escapades. Freedom of choice to be gross and whatnot. The problem? Random hookups can end with surprises, like AIDs or unexpected pregnancies. Pro-abortion leftists try to help people skirt those consequences by way of "Don't Get AIDs 101" and Planned Parenthood. Except those "solutions" aren't working. Clearly. Meanwhile, those same leftist, feminist SJWs still encourage harmful, casual sex. Because caring.

Speaking of STDs...

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