Politics are still a thing in Washington D.C. Despite the blubbering from smurf-imitator David Hogg, who, thanks to the media, is continually treated to perpetual lip application tochus therapy. Or despite the embarrassing locker room "trash talk" between two geriatric political leaders. Yes, aside from porn star lie detector tests and Facebook becoming the butt of political cartoons, actual policy, which affects you is squirming its way through the legal life cycle right now. In that vein, Rand Paul is live-tweeting the contents of the galactic 2018 omnibus bill.

What kind of sh!t are we funding today, Rand?

Oh man. I was betting the slutty quail would be a plot twist on season two of Westworld. I just lost five bucks.

What, pray tell, is the "cultural antiquities task force"? Is that political speak for geezers in tweed galavanting across the globe looking for old pipes from "ancient" cultures? Carrying suitcases full of Bengay?

12M big ones for "Countering State Disinformation and Pressure"? Does that roughly translate to: fighting fake news from Uganda?

Commission on Security and Co-operation in Europe. 2.5 million. Da fuq is that?

218 million for promoting democracy in a place that's already democratic. Do we have funds for promoting theocracies in the Middle East? Or maybe "Blonde Hair Preservation and Celebration" in Scandinavia?

Also, why are we spending ANYTHING on "disadvantaged" Egyptian Students?

You're getting the point. Whatever you do, don't twiddle your precious fingers over to Twitter to read the replies. I don't want to say it's worse than running across a floor of slugs, barefoot. But I think it's close. It's more like looking out the window to catch your elderly neighbor doing a rain dance in the buff.

Government wastes our tax dollars. Not news. You know it, I know it, your neighbor with man bewbs flapping the cha-cha knows it.

Oh right, the Republicans who begged to be elected instead of the Democrats.

But here we have a politician who's calling out just how it's being wasted. That's step one in dealing with the problem: identifying the problem. Part two is trickier: actually dealing with the problem. Only the flying spaghetti monster knows if we'll even make it to step two. Rand Paul may, in a fit of frustrated exhaustion, fall over dead. In which case a new committee will need to be formed. "Curly Haired Senatorial Corpse Removal - 7.1M."

Politicians should represent our best interests: like not lighting our money on fire as they roast mallows. So whatever you thought of Rand the Dandelion Hair in the campaign, kudos for this.

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