It's rare that we talk about a story involving protesters that actually ends well. Be still, my beating heart! A bunch of human trashcans gathered in a busy intersection in Portland to protest yesterday. Their cause? To block traffic. Out of spite for the police, or something. So many protests, it's hard to keep track of all the why's. If I had a nickel for every protest going on in America right now, I'd have tons of nickels. Making me richer than any said protester, because they don't have jobs. Hence the protesting.

Turns out the police were quick to respond... And they did so in the most perfect way possible.

Face, meet ground...

— (@)

Portland Police Bureau officers responded to reports that several people were blocking road traffic and transit lines in Downtown Portland... The Bureau was aware of numerous threats issued publicly in the previous 24 hours to block traffic and interrupt transit.

In total, 14 people were taken into custody as a result of their behavior throughout the afternoon and evening -- 12 adults and two juveniles. All those taken into custody were issued a traffic citation.

A secret for the protesting diaper wads all over America? You don't have the right to block traffic (see Columbus Day Protesters Block Traffic, Threaten Driver. Get RUN OVER!). And as you can see above, it's a not a good idea if you like to remain unsmashed by car. Or 200 lb policeman.

Don't stand in the way of cars. Sounds simple enough, right? Sort of like "don't stand in fire." Most humans with a couple of brain cells get this. Alas, protesters are often not counted among them (watch Anti-Trump Protester Tries Setting HIMSELF On Fire. Disproves Theory of Evolution...).

Of course, the blatant irony here is that these sniveling screamholes were protesting because they were unhappy about the way police handle protests. So meta. You wouldn't get it, after all, leftist entitlement culture created these whining beasts. Whatever their cause, it takes precedence over everything else - like you getting to work. Or to the hospital (see #BlackLivesMatter Blocks Sick Baby From Getting to Hospital).

So kudos to these policemen for their swift action. Videos like this prove that happy endings do exist...

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