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Again? Deuce-Dropping 'Poopman' Does His Business at Kentucky Car Washes...
Remember a few days back, when we told you about the infamous serial deuce-dropper known as the "Mad Pooper"? Well, if you're the type of disturbed connoisseur of all things low-brow who was itching for a sequel, we've got a treat for you. I give you Poop Hard 2: Poop Harder, starring the still-at-large Poopman:
The owners of a car-washing business in Kentucky are asking for the public’s help in identifying a man who turned two of their locations into his personal commodes, a sicko they’ve dubbed “Poopman.”
The suspect is seen in two Facebook videos doing his business at separate Soak-N-Wet Car Wash locations in Owensboro.
“Does anyone know this guy?” co-owner Becky Whittinghill posted Tuesday on Facebook. “Help me make this viral. Poopman strikes again!”
In a second video, the man appears to be squatting outside a different location, standing against a wall as he apparently relieves himself near a car.
Two separate attacks at two businesses owned by the same person. Looks like this might be a personal (excremented) beef.
Two serial poopings in the span of one week? The InfoWars subscriber in me wonders if these crimes aren't connected. Are Poopman and the Mad Pooper some sort of modern day Bonnie and Clyde on a cross-country crapping spree? Or, is it bigger than that? Is dumping logs in public the new frontier in American terrorism? Are we seeing the beginnings of an international terrorist network called the Coalition of Radical Activist Poopers, or C.R.A.P. for short?
Even leftists are decent enough to keep their crappening of America figurative (read No, Salon.com, I Don’t Need to ‘Understand’ the Plight of Pedophiles and WTF? ‘Anti-Fascist’ Leftists Now Want to Blow Up Mount Rushmore…). Cultural Marxism has nothing on an unwanted steaming turd in your proximity.
Time to cut the sh!t. Amusing as it is, let's hope this isn't the start of a trend. It's all fun and games until the squish is under your shoe. We have to bring these serial defecators to justice. The good people must form a mighty double-ply wad and wipe these fecal terrorists out. In the name of all that is good and sanitary, this reign of soiled loafers and unpleasant odors has to come to an end. Be on the lookout, folks. Remember, only YOU can flush these fire squatters.