With the rise of Anastasia Orenthal-Cortex, you'd probably think America has slipped the slope toward Commieville. We're just one step away from our kiddos pledging allegiance to Che Guevara and building Lenin statues in ceramics class. Well, you're incorrect. At least for the time being.

A new poll is showing most Americans aren't down to elect a socialist:

If socialist candidates are the future of the Democratic Party, that future won’t be too bright, if the findings of a new Hill.TV/Harris X American Barometer poll hold true.

Seventy-six percent of respondents in a recent survey said they would not vote for a “socialist candidate,” while 24 percent of those polled said they have no problem with the hypothetical candidate.

Those results conflict with Democratic National Committee Chairman Tom Perez’s prediction that young politicians like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez — a dues-paying member of New York City’s chapter of the Democratic Socialists of America — represent his party’s “future.”

Phew! It looks like our doctors won't be moonlighting as night-walkers. Zoo animals will stay off the dinner plate. The greenbacks will continue to flow in. For now, at least.

Luckily there are still enough Americans around to remember the suckfest that was the Soviet Union. Also, enough people aware of the current sucktastic crapshow that is Venezuela.

A big "thank you" to all the sh*thole Marx-loving countries around to remind us that "socialism" is a dirty word. All the toilet paper rations to you kind folks. Though, unfortunately they're only single-ply. Shortages and all.

Sure, these poll numbers are good news. We may not be about to elect the ghost of Engels as president. That still doesn't mean socialist douchenozzles aren't around and gunning for your bank account. Plotting to add Comrade Stalin to Mount Rushmore. Seeking to reduce your deodorant options.

That's why we're not afraid to call socialism what it really is:

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