Today's journalists couldn't find a good scoop if one hit them between their lard thighs. But they're good at finding fake stories about the Trump family: The president is Hitler reincarnated. Melania is a real life witch who summons demons to kill gay people. Donald Jr. was a cussing sexist toddler.

That last one is a real accusation by a Politico editor. This is real life.

This is the leftist news media:

Because Donald Trump Jr. as a three-year-old is news now.

Omg. An asshole at three? HORROR. Three-year-olds are ANGELS OF MERCY. They DO NO WRONG.

That's sarcasm.

My god, woman. Paid to watch over wealthy children. It's LITERALLY INDENTURED SERVITUDE!

You mean sit in silence, like Catholics usually do? Not waving their hands about and signing, like some evangelicals? GET OUT.

Thank goodness for some sanity here. Oh look, more mockery:

Pretty much. Who among us hasn't said something wildly inappropriate at three years old? He, she or ze who hasn't said something bizarre, cast the first binky.

But if this is the worst they have on Donald Trump Jr., then he should feel pretty secure right about now. Going all the way back to pre-school for dirt?

I heard Donald Jr. kicked his mother wombside. What a sexist d!ck.

Fake news.

~Co-written by Nichole Cooper and Courtney Kirchoff

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