NORTH KOREA: Kim Jong-un Has Cured Cancer!
The supreme leader of North Korea has cured cancer!
But, wait! There's more!
The miracle cancer curing drug created by Kim Jong-Un (single-handedly, of course) is also said to prevent and cure Ebola.
IT CURES ALL THE THINGS!!!
While the world's greatest medical minds have labored for decades to find a cure for cancer and the rest of the globe's malaise, Kim Jong-Un says he's already done it. He's done it all.
The Korean Central News Agency said the chubby despot's scientists developed miracle drug Kumdang-2 from ginseng and other secret ingredients... ingredients so secret, North Korea's not telling us what they are.
But wait! There's still more!
North Korea claims this same drug cured the deadly bird flu outbreaks of 2006 and 2013. Amazing!
Is there anything Kim Jong-Un can't do?
After all, he is the successor of Kim Jong Il, a man who kidnapped South Korean movie stars and directors to create a North Korean Godzilla movie. Annnnnd made himself "executive producer who approved all creative ideas." Extraordinary. The farce is strong with this family.
But Kim Jong-Un's pretty incredible in his own right. Not only has he cured cancer, he was also a genius child, who learned to drive a car at a mere 3 years old... and beat the chief executive of a yacht company in a boating race at the age of 9. Magnificent.
We also have unconfirmed reports that Kim Jong-Un has a flock of geese laying golden eggs in his backyard. Totally unconfirmed though.
Can't get enough Kim Jong? No worries! Check out our original cartoon on The Interview fiasco below.