At what point does a migration become an invasion? Simple answer: when the migrants both intend and execute uses of force to enter a nation. A nation which has told the migrant caravan it will not be allowed to enter.

So pardon me if I think the migrant caravan got off easy with just tear gas. For had it been my choice, I would've used actual weapons propelled by gunpowder. Had it been my choice, I would've sent in the tanks. Not just armored Humvees all tricked out and camouflaged for Desert Storm. No, no, actual tanks. Migrant caravan this, bitch.

But since the media has infected everything like stage four cancer, public opinion plays a factor in acts of war, national defense, and now an invasion from migrants who are not mostly innocent women and children, but who are 80% military-aged men. So that fleet of Abrams tanks I'd send to the border would roll over narratives as it rumbled its way to an invading army. Fire at will, boys.

The media's narrative is these poor, innocent migrants from mostly Honduras, are just throwing rocks. They're not hurling grenades, launching rockets, or throwing magazines filled with Tess Holliday spreads. Since these poor, innocent migrants are throwing sticks and stones, we Americans -- whose military boasts a nuclear arsenal -- should show mercy. Why, these poor, innocent migrants have nothing but the rocks at their feet in which to chuck at border patrol agents. They're but a quaint, archaic people!

Tanks. Machine guns. Drone strikes. Hell, send some F-16s to shake things up. Welcome to America, the number one military superpower in the world. Now watch as we demonstrate our dedication to national security. We shall not discriminate against a third world army, guerrilla terrorists, or a uniformed deployment. Try to get into America without America's permission, and we'll blast your platoon into the next century using the best weapons from the current century. Heck, I'll even throw in a few warning shots just to be charitable. It's the Christmas season, after all. Light up a few cactuses like a Time's Square Christmas tree. Roast your chestnuts on that open fire.

Would sending a full-scale attack against migrants be a little overkill? Maybe. Would media call my leadership cruel, inhumane, lacking compassion, "unconstitutional," plus some kind of sexist insult about how I should've been more nurturing? Likely.

But America has to defend itself against invaders. I don't care from what country they hail. Should America be infiltrated from the north, by a swath of doughy white Canucks high on maple syrup and politeness, demanding they be allowed in to screw up our vowels, I'd still send tanks.

Because here's the bigger issue: what sorts of criminals lurk within the caravan? We don't really know if terrorists, murderers, rapists, or just poor little victims in search of the perfect hug are among the invaders. Now had these "migrants" actually followed proper immigration laws and procedures, we'd have a much better idea of who we're dealing with. But who needs rules when you can pick up a rock and throw it at a nation's border patrol?

By the way, doesn't it seem curious to you this migrant caravan has no problem using force against America? It's like they know America isn't going to treat them to ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Spicy food for thought.

Since the migrant army is pushing itself on the border, since it's not orderly or peaceful, America must react in kind. It must use force against force. I don't care if the migrants chose to throw soy lattes. If you throw anything, if you use violence to try and enter a country illegally, you will be met with violence.

So every migrant who got a little irritated with tear gas should get down on bended knee, thanking America for its compassion. Every migrant and every migrant sympathizer should be grateful for the overwhelming restraint America has thus far shown. Because you and I both know what America is actually capable of against those who try to forcefully enter it.

~ Written by Courtney Kirchoff