Most of the stories we share here at Louder With Crowder are of a negative nature. Leftist turd-blossom does braindead Marxist thing. We make funnies about said turd-blossoms being braindead Marxists, and so on and so on. That’s why it’s always a pleasure when we get to share something truly wonderful with you. Like this.
Ohio State just changed the game during finals week. They’re providing their students with a bacon vending machine. I kid you not:
Ohio State University students can fuel up on pork as they study for finals.
A bacon vending machine has been installed at the College of Food, Agricultural, and Environmental Sciences on the university’s Columbus campus. It offers cooked bacon strips and bacon bits for $1.
The Ohio Pork Council sponsored the machine, and it received bacon donations from Smithfield, Hormel and Sugardale.
Proceeds from the machine will go toward Ohio State’s meat science program. Members of the program will be responsible for machine maintenance.
Yeah, you heard that right. Ohio State may have just stumbled onto the most groundbreaking innovation since those convertible cargo pants/shorts. A vending machine which doesn’t dispense candy or soda pop, but crispy, greasy strips of salted pig flesh.
Alls I know is I need one of these in my house, pronto. Whoever came up with bacon on demand deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for bringing such joy to the world.
Of course, vegans and Muhammad fangirls might kick up a fuss over this glorious development. We swine-loving carnivores would say “suck it,” if our mouths weren’t stuffed with the finest of pork products.
It’s great to see a university making a move in the right direction for a change. As opposed to their usual schtick of catering to the green-haired, commie hambeasts who roam the campuses. Hopefully, noshing on a few strips of tasty bacon will help those professors continue to see the light and make changes for the better. Our grease-covered fingers are crossed.