The irony’s so rich here, it’ll give you gout. The Environmental Protection Agency spilled contaminated water into the Animas River. The Environmental. Protection. Agency. Yes, the same bureaucracy that fined BP for spilling oil, the same bureaucracy that supports cap and trade legislation and coal regulation because they allege such measures will support and protect the environment… polluted the Animas River with 3 million gallons of contaminates. This is real life.
The spill occurred when one of its [EPA] teams was using heavy equipment to enter the Gold King Mine, a suspended mine near Durango. Instead of entering the mine and beginning the process of pumping and treating the contaminated water inside as planned, the team accidentally caused it to flow into the nearby Animas River. Before the spill, water carrying “metals pollution” was flowing into a holding area outside the mine.
Ah shucks. Clear water is so last century. Metal pollution adds texture. Does wonders for the skin, too. It’s all the rage in Milan.
Officials said they believe the spill carried heavy metals, mainly iron, zinc and copper, from the mine into a creek that feeds into the Animas River. From there, the orange water plugged steadily along through the small stretch of winding river in southern Colorado and across the state border to New Mexico where the Animas meets the San Juan River. The EPA said it will continue to sample water downstream from the mine until the contamination has passed and it determines there are “no additional concerns for aquatic life or water users.” When asked if the spill could affect drinking water, the EPA spokesperson said she did not yet know.
Well today (six days after the spill) the EPA admitted they made a boo boo. Of course being the EPA they can’t exactly fine themselves for the mess. That would be like a fine within a fine. Fine-ception? We’ll work on it… So you know who’s going to pay for the costly clean up? Ding, ding, ding! TAXPAYERS. But remember, paying taxes is patriotic. Ergo cleaning up after the Environmental Protection Agency is also patriotic. Perhaps like the recent Amtrak incident, the real problem is not enough funding. It wasn’t that an EPA dumbass broke a dam and all the metal contaminates flooded into the river. No, no, more taxes. That’s the ticket!
No word yet if Obama is planning on blaming George W. Bush or the Republicans in Congress. But if one thing is clear (it’s not the Animas River, that’s for dang sure), it’s that if Obama had a river, it would look like the Animas River.