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Obama Thinks He Could’ve Beat Trump for Third Term. Continues Intense Love Affair With Himself

Team Crowder  Tuesday December 27 2016

obamathirdterm

Less than a month until we get the belated Christmas present of a lifetime: the end of Barack Obama’s Presidency. Yes, on January 20th, Barry will be out on his scrawny butt, along with the love of his life, a flattering mirror which shows but one face: his own. Sorry Michelle, but nothing compares to you… except Barack. Need proof? Check out what Obama said about the election.

President Obama suggested in an exit interview with his former top adviser that, had he been able to run, he could have won a third term in the White House.

Describing his confidence in an America that is “tolerant” and “full of energy,” Obama said: “I am confident in this vision because I’m confident that … if I had run again and articulated it, I think I could’ve mobilized a majority of the American people to rally behind it.”

Shorter Obama: “I say words better than anyone else says words.” Shorter shorter Obama: “I rule, Trump drools.” Shortest short Obama: “Americans are gullible.”

Especially that last one. Reminder, the distant second love of Obama (his wife Michelle) recently implied Americans are children, and Barack was the “adult” in the White House. We are but children mesmerized by Obama’s pied piping eloquence. Even though Obama’s monologues are frequently punctured by dreary “ums” and “uhs.” I faint in the presence of such magnanimity.

As to President Obama’s fantasy that he might be elected to a third term? In psychiatric wards this is known as a “delusion of grandeur.” Remember, this is the guy who claimed to have contained ISIS…a few hours before the terrorist attack in Paris. You know, the ISIS attack that left 150 dead. Also the same dude who bragged his signature bill, Obamacare, was going to lower healthcare premiums and expand coverage. I’m guessing he was observing Opposite Day at the time. Because the opposite is exactly what happened. Not exactly a crowning achievement for the dunce who would be king.

MontyPythonHorse GIF

Monty Python. You’re welcome.

Let’s also not belittle how Donald Trump ran his campaign. Largely as the anti-Obama candidate…and he won. Though let’s be fair, even some Democrats tried distancing themselves from All Hail Obama. Trump just based his platform around cleaning up Obama’s messes. We’re gonna need a bigger sponge.

Methinks locking up that third term would have been a touch harder than Obama’s thinking. But considering how Obama’s thinking is clouded with images of himself in leather pants… A+ for confidence. And lots and lots of douchebaggery. Also, men should never even think about wearing leather pants. Come on.

Who knows what Obama is going to do with his life, post presidency. Maybe some jazzercising. Definitely golfing. Whatever the big Oh is planning, I’ll guarantee you, a mirror will always be close by. I’m so pretty, oh so pretty…

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