NOT THE ONION. You Can Download 'Barack Fu: The Adventures of Dirty Barry'
If you purchased a physical copy of Shaq Fu: A Legend Reborn, you were met with a surprise. Barack Fu: The Adventures of Dirty Barry. Yes, really. We fact-checked this. It's not parody. It's real. It's why we woke up this morning.
I'm guessing this is a tongue-in-cheek homage. But really, if you were to make a video game mocking the former president, how different would it be?
Some fool has been icing celebrities and he ain’t slowing down. When the fuzz can’t crack the case and the private dicks don’t have a clue, Dirty Barry gets the call. Jet to Paris and even outer space, battling crazy bosses and their mad minions as the ex-POTUS-on-notice dispenses justice for all."
Not to interrupt this spectacular collection of words, but Barack Obama was once referred to, seriously, as the Preezy of the United Steezy when he appeared on Jimmy Fallon to "slow jam" the news. Okay?
- Battle fashionistas, politicians, robots, clones, hackers, flying derrières, and rappers with your raw fists and smoking hot lead.
- Call in a “Peace Prize” drone strike to flatten your foes in an instant.
- Slip into Dirty Barry mode and rack up a killstreak with your handy assault rifle and an abundant supply of grenades.
- Take out the bad guys from a distance with a variety of firearms, including a shotgun, railgun, and machine gun.
- String together power moves like the Barack ‘n Rolla and South Side Smash to create devastating combos.
Rumor has it this is the "training" level:
That angry lift face, tho.
Our favorite detail is Barack Obama with an assault rifle. We hear he's named the gun "Giggles." Though if you go left-right-left-right-up-down-up-down-B-A-start on your control, David Hogg rollerblades to the scene. Then lectures Dirty Barry about the NRA. Unconfirmed, but if you hit the start button three times, Dana Loesch appears in a leather jacket to sweep the legs.
I believe there's also an Easter egg hidden under a bridge you didn't build. Where all doctors you were told you could keep if you liked them are tied up in a warehouse. Nancy Pelosi awaits you as the stupid villain who never goes away. She's protected by MS-13 and plastic surgeons armed with nothing but botox needles. Rumor is just as you think you've taken her down with the "Reality Shield" a doctor injects her forehead and she's reborn.
Or maybe I'm confusing that level with Hillary's level. Swipe right with a cloth or something.