Friends, a word of advice: if you're on a website like "rentahitman.com," it's probably a joke. Or an FBI sting. Or both. Unfortunately, no one was able to warn this 21-year-old Air National Guardsman before he applied online to be a hitman.

Josiah Ernesto Garcia was short on cash, so he went to "rentahitman.com" to make a quick buck. The site is a parody where people can a request murder-for-hire services as well as apply to work as a hired killer. Garcia submitted an application and offered his, erm, "services" for a mere $5000. He then repeatedly followed up on the application, even submitting more identification documents, including a resume stating his status as an expert marksman and employment in the Tennessee Air National Guard. So he was very serious about this.

His resume also stated he was nicknamed "Reaper" because of his marksmanship skills. After a month of Garcia's continuous inquiries, an undercover FBI agent began communicating with him, and eventually cut a deal for Garcia to kill a man for $5000. On Wednesday, Garcia met an undercover agent at a park in Tennessee, where the agent gave him info on a fictional person and a down payment of $2500. Garcia reportedly asked if the agent needed a photograph of the dead body as proof.

According to the affidavit, the agent made sure Garcia was all in on this, asking: "You are locked in? This is what you want? Because it sounds like you have a lot going on. You're in the military. You've got college. You've got a lot going on, as far as good things in your life to kinda' get in this world. It is a shady world, and I just don't want you to have regrets if you come to work for us, because it, I mean it messes with your mind, shooting people."

Garcia however said he had already weighed the cons of murder and had no qualms about it. After the agent told him he could make more money if he killed fifty people, Garcia said that was "rookie numbers for the Reaper." And was promptly arrested.

I feel like this should go without saying, but murder is *not* the way to make $5000. Even for the Reaper.

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Lily is a Zoomer college dropout who somehow landed a writing gig here at LwC.com. In her spare time, she enjoys going for runs, touching grass, and occasionally tweeting tweets for fellow tweeters.

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