Each day we overwhelm your brains with the content you've come to love from the Louder with Crowder Dot Com website.
But Facebook is...you know, Facebook. Their algorithm hides our ranting and raving as best it can. The best way to stick it to Zuckerface?
Sign up for the LWC News Blast! Get your favorite right-wing commentary delivered directly to your inbox!
No, NARAL You Sick Bastards, Abortion Will NEVER be Funny...
Dear baby-killing profiteers,
Let's spell out the problem at go, shall we? Science is a thorn in your side. It's creeping into your agenda. It's erasing your precious bottom line. Science is providing a window into the formerly mysterious world of the unborn human child. Good news for unborn human children, bad news for your sick organization which desperately clings to an evil narrative, while pretending to be an empowering one. Mainly: women have the right to butcher their unborn children. For equality.
It's a narrative both science and more and more women (and men) are rejecting wholesale (watch Leftists Watch Abortion Video. Immediately Become Pro-Life On Camera!). Which means desperate times call for creepy measures. This past week you released this epic fest of screen vomit, in an embarrassingly lame attempt to stay relevant:
Aside from the appalling attempt at humor (at which you fall on your Medusa-ish faces), what the video illustrates simply isn't true. Abortions are not hard to get. Oh I believe they should be impossible to get. I make no apologies for my firm stance that unborn children shouldn't be sucked out of their mothers' wombs. For pick your whiny reason.
Except that's not the point here. Sure, I could do a point-by-point debunking of the video to prove how gross it is, how false it is, how terribly unfunny it is. See, I had to use an adverb there. Such are the stakes.
But to go through a point-by-point "this video is so stupid it hurts" misses the larger point. Because yes, there's a bigger picture here. The forest, I see it past the burning trees where you've tried distracting the rest of us with condoms and tampons. A disgusting attempt to distract, sure, but when morality is so clearly on my side and not yours, only one winner can emerge from the forest of truth.
I admit to waxing on with the words a little too long there. My apologies.
Abortion has been totes legal since 1973. Since then, over 50 million American children have lost their lives at the alter of "choice." But as mentioned at the opening of this letter, you're biting your nails over losing control of more than just your narrative. 3D ultrasounds, photos of either aborted or miscarried babies, shared widely over the internet, illustrate the undeniable humanity of the unborn. Then of course there are all the facts, but those require reading comprehension.
You harpies and jerk wads at NARAL cannot have all these facts about babies being shared. As a group who is passionate about baby-killing, even if that child was conceived as the wrong gender, or with Down syndrome, you must constantly push your baby-killing ways. I would point out "at what cost" but the cost here is rather bloody clear.
Even the woman "comedian" in the video knows her unborn child is a human being, as she looks at a child playing and says "we don't need more of those in the world." For if a baby is allowed to grow inside her mother's womb without being dismembered inside it, she has a 100% chance of growing into a human child. Then teenager. Adult. The circle of life. More than just an Elton John hit.
Enough with the teasing. Why did you shrews at NARAL release this video? Why are you trying to pass abortion off as 1.) no big deal and 2.) super hard to get because of those meanie religious pro-lifers?
Answer: Desperation at its finest. Taking several pages from the SJW playbook, you're trying to set up a villain (pro-lifers and society), while painting a woman who "needs" an abortion as a victim. This formula has worked in the past, and is still working with modern grievance groups. It's a favorite of the feminists who, despite being shown the truth like Dracula is shown sparkly Edward Cullen, still insist the gender pay gap is real. Which means they want to believe it's real. Because if it's not real, they're no longer victims of society, rather victims of their own suckage. Victimhood in our times is worthy of award ceremonies. Why is a subject for another post altogether.
So you pander. You steal a Jerry Seinfeld idea of "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee" but switch it out for Comedians in Cars Killing their Children. You can't make abortion funny because abortion is never funny. Therefore you take potshots at the religious who believe human life is worthy of protection. Those Christians thinking children should live.
Your desperation reeks like an unclean feminist. You're scared, NARAL, that people are turning away from abortion. Rather than coping with reality, you're doubling down, trying to show abortion as a right this woman needs. A right this woman is somehow being denied. Even though in reality, abortion is still pretty easy to get. Ask the over 50 million dead American children you've slaughtered.
Oh right, you can't. They're dead.
But please. Please, I beg of you, keep trying to be relevant. Keep making more embarrassing videos where you attempt to make abortion an integral part of pop culture. It's a sign of just how you're loosing your grip on a dying narrative.
As millions of babies continue to die.