Great news, feminists. Apparently, your pussyhats are old and busted. Smell you later, pussy hat perfume. According to popstar Janelle Monáe, these pussypants are the new hottness.
13-year-old boys discovering their first porno aren’t this fascinated with the female fun zone.
Lots of things are pink in the new music video for Janelle Monáe’s “PYNK.” A convertible. A strawberry milkshake. Lipstick. Bubblegum. A very suggestive grapefruit. But the pinkest thing in the musician’s latest queer masterpiece has to be a pair of poofy full-length pants fashioned to look like a vagina, complete with vulva ruffles. Forget pussyhats. This is way better.
“Way better.” Way better than what, exactly? Wearing items that represent vaginas is silly at best, effing weird at worst.
Monáe wears her pussypants for a set piece in the desert, joined by backup dancers in similar attire as she croons the song’s suggestive lyrics: “Pink like the inside of your, baby/ Pink behind all of the doors, crazy/ Pink like the tongue that goes down, maybe/ Pink like the paradise found.” At one point, Monáe’s rumored paramour Tessa Thompson even pokes her head through Monáe’s pussified legs, which is not terribly subtle but does get the message across.
If this the new standard, I am soooooo looking forward to the next Womyn’s March (see The Organizer of the Next Women’s March? She’s a Convicted Terrorist and Ashley Judd Embarrasses Herself, Recites Insane Poem at Women’s March…). There are always marchers who decide to dress up as erogenous zones. But this video didn’t just set the bar. This video is the bar. And I for one can’t wait to see which one of these gals can clear it.
We’re one feminist outrage away from a reimagining of Little Shop of Horrors. Just swap out a giant plant that eats people with a giant vagina that lectures them about Donald Trump.
By the way, how do hats or pants advance a feminist agenda? I’m still not clear on that one.
