Pop quiz. One of the migrant "children" in this picture claims to be 14 years old. I'm going to give you a minute to spot him. It might be a little difficult, but I believe in you. There are some general rules, though. You cannot use racial profiling. Ready? Go...

Can you figure out which one it is? It's a real head-scracther, ain't it? If you guessed the giant "kid" in the middle, you're a racist. How dare you. If you guessed the girl on the left, you're a sexist. Stop it.

If that giant "boy" is fourteen then I'm the Queen of Scotland. I'm also six. Makes my spelling and grammar all the more magnificent, doesn't it? Also, from here on out, you must address me as "Your Majesty," what with me identifying as Queen. Because we're going for complete delusion now, yes? Here's the segue you're looking for: apparently lying about your age is the new way to sneak across the border.

The extraordinary pictures of the two Afghans, Ahmad and Saad, were published in the Swedish press, with Government approval, to show how enthusiastically this politically correct nation welcomes in orphaned young migrants.

But in the years that followed, the word has spread across Europe about how easy it is to be accepted as a child migrant in Sweden.

Now, the country has become overwhelmed with ‘unaccompanied minors’ in what critics suspect is a huge fraud.

Of course, it is hard not to have sympathy for children or young teenagers who find themselves alone among the great migrant trek across Europe. But it is another matter for those who are older to tell cynical lies in order the take advantage of an ultra-liberal system.

Child migrants, unlike adult arrivals, are fast-tracked through the asylum process, and receive immediate housing and cash hand-outs of £160 a month.

In other words, it pays to be a liar. It double pays to be a "child" for the obvious victim status it'll grant you. Since these "kids" can so easily lie about their age, it's also obvious the "little" children are coming across the border without proof of when they were born. Ergo they're entering into new countries without valid paperwork. Or proof of who they actually are.

I assure you, I'm not. In totally unrelated news, gangs of teenage migrants, as young as nine (though not sure how we know their age for sure) are terrorizing women at the Stockholm train station. It's shocking that Sweden is now deporting up to 80,000 refugees. All this time, we thought accepting them no questions asked was the open-minded, tolerant thing to do. It must mean Sweden is anti-children. Turns out, they're just not big fans of rape. Who knew?!

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