Fourteen months after fifteen days to flatten the curve, it should be safe to say not wearing a mask while outside isn't bad. Our virtue-signaling numbskull of a president might not think so. But those of us who follow the science and the CDC guidelines enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. As did three students from UMass Amherst. But the joke's on them! They've been suspended and are losing a semester of school for not masking up. While outdoors. Also, off-campus. Yes, the same campus that suspended them.

Their parents, as you can imagine, are not amused.

The green and shamrocks make it look like this photo was taken in March. That was before the CDC passed the new outdoor guidelines that Joe Biden regularly ignores. If you think that means UMass Amherst got them on a technicality, you're a dick probably upset the girls friend-zoned you. Or are prettier than you. Or both.

There's a lot to this story to make you stabby. The girls were off-campus. They were OUTDOORS! Guidelines that have totes been "based in science" this whole time are suddenly being changed as students pass out from wearing masks outdoors. That's all exhibit Q on why college isn't worth the money. But dude, seriously?

"There was a photo sent to the administration of these girls outside off-campus on a Saturday. This is why they lost a whole semester of their schooling."

"Maybe a little harsh but like I understand it because you're not supposed to be doing that," one student told WBZ Friday night.

"The town of Amherst made it really clear they don't want any big parties," another student said.

We need to bring back the time-honored tradition of snitches receiving stitches. The girls are suspended because someone ratted them out to their teachers. No doubt the uggo or the friend-zoned dweeb I alluded to earlier. If that's not bad enough, the other students are going along with it. "They broke the rules." "The town said no parties." What the deuce happened to college students?

I can guess what happened. A year of nonstop panic porn coupled with the real pandemic: students growing to be bigger and bigger shook pussies with every passing generation. But in the olden days? College students were pro-party, anti-anyone telling them they weren't allowed to party. If a reporter came up to you, they'd have to wait for you to finish your kegstand. Then put on a mask that reads "This Mask Is as Useless as the Dean of UMass."

I hope there's enough bad press that it forces the school to fix this. It's pretty pathetic.

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