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July 16, 2020
Watch: Legend Defies Haters and Exercises His First Amendment... by Farting Into Costco Intercom
Okay, I might be jumping to conclusions about this being mask/covid related. But a) he's not wearing a mask, b) it is in fact a Costco, c) I'm hardly the only person on the internet jumping to this conclusion, and most importantly, d) CNN jumped to conclusions when they saw Nicholas Sandmann staring at a native American. Besides, we've seen more than our share of meltdowns (see FLORIDA WOMAN DOESN'T WEAR A MASK FOR THE SAME REASON SHE DOESN'T WEAR UNDERWEAR, AND SHE'S MY NEW HERO and TWO MASKED MORONS CONFRONTED THIS GUY FOR NOT MASKING UP. HIS RESPONSE IS PERFECTION!). As far as I'm concerned, this is a patriotic act of civil disobedience. If Trump doesn't give him the Presidential Medal of Freedom for this, what's the point of even having Trump?
guys farts in to intercom at costcoyoutu.be
You wouldn't know this, but it's taken me over a half and hour to write this sentence because I can't stop laughing. I'm not proud. But at the end of the day, the wisdom our fathers and grandfathers have passed down for generations rings true: Farts. Always. Equal. Funny.
Though as hard as I'm laughing, I feel like this video is missing something. After letting one rip and having it echo throughout the Costco as a legion of Karens and Beckys all load up on 172 count boxes of string cheese, he should have screamed into the intercom, "Put a mask on now, bitch!" And proceeded to throw up both middle fingers as security slowly started to advance on him. With their shirts pulled up over their noses. Because there is no denying who supplied this one. This man both smelted it AND dealt it.
Sir, I wish I knew your name. I like to buy you a beer. And also, pull your finger.
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