Are we surprised? The one and only Kanye West, more commonly known as “Kim Kardashian‘s Husband,” or “that jerk who thinks Beyonce should’ve won and not Taylor,” announced at last night’s VMA awards that he plans to run for President in 2020. Ten points for foresight. Negative a thousand points for platform. It all evens out in the end when you’re Kanye.
To quote the future (presumably Democrat) presidential candidate:
“We the millenials, bro. This is a new mentality. We are not going to control our kids with brands. We are not going to teach low self-esteem and hate to our kids. We are going to teach our kids that they can be something, we’re going to teach our kids that they can stand up for themselves. We’re going to teach our kids to believe in themselves.”
So far, not too bad, eh bro? Hope and change and stuff, not a terrible campaign speech. It’s worked before. Though, factually, the 38 year old West is not a millennial… As Pew Research Center explains in this chart (for those of you unsure if you’re Generation X, Y, Z or purple pandas) “millennials” describe those who in 2015, are between the ages of 18 and 34. Kanye West is actually a “Generation Xer.” Older, better, faster, stronger. But I digress. Back to the man’s speech:
“I don’t know what I stand to lose after this, it don’t matter though, because it ain’t about me, it’s about new ideas, bro, new ideas. People with ideas, people who believe in truth,” he said. “And yes, as you probably could have guessed by this moment, I have decided in 2020 to run for president.”
He’s right. He doesn’t have anything to lose. Know why? Cuz Kanye loves Kanye. Even though it ain’t about Kanye (sarcasm, Kanye?). It’s about new ideas. Whatever those are. A fashion line? His wife Kim as ambassador to Iran? He doesn’t say, but he doesn’t need to. He’s Kanye, bro.
West has nothing to lose because we’ve reached a point in our culture where we care more about celebrity than conviction. Or talent. We’re trying not to look at you, Miley. We’d rather elect a superstar than a statesman. Popularity outweighs principal, and the man with the biggest social media following, who will bring the highest TV ratings, is going to get all the attention the media can possibly give him. Media coverage = campaign momentum. Also cologne. And dark sunglasses.
So while we personally loathe the idea of a Kanye West candidacy, we can totally see it happening. Next he’ll probably say he doesn’t need anybody to donate to his campaign because he’s so……. naaah. It’s Kanye. He’ll tell us how much cash is in his stash after he jumps on stage and grabs the mic from Carly Fiorina to say the presidency should’ve gone to Hillary. Don’t be hatin.
Following the 2020 presidential announcement, Kanye hinted that he may have been under the influence of drugs during his statement:
“Y’all might be thinking right now, ‘I wonder, did he smoke something before he came out here?’ And the answer is yes, I rolled up a little something, I knocked the edge off.”
Wait, are you saying it’s abnormal for a potential-in-five-years presidential candidate NOT to light up before announcing he wants to be the leader of the free world? Mind blown. Oh Kanye, you’re such a forward-thinker.
You can watch the full, sometimes erratic speech, here:
Would you vote for President West? Sound off in the comments below!