Anyone who's ever seen Judge Judy knows the show's namesake is a battle-ax. On steroids. Dialed all the way up to infinity. She could make a hardened SEAL Team Six member revert to sucking his thumb and wetting his tighty-whities.

You'd think, with Judy's domineering ways, she'd be a card-carrying feminist. You'd be wrong:

When I was growing up and going to school and being a lawyer and trying to become a judge and becoming a judge and then becoming a supervising judge, I didn't do it through any organization. I think it takes away from your own self-worth, if you say ‘I did it based on the work of a larger group.'

It's nice to have a safety net. But if you don't have your own self-worth, and forge for yourself, that safety net, all it can do is give you the bottom.

Looks like meritocracy isn't dead after all. Excuse me a moment.

Feminist warthogs think they deserve their place at the top on account of their downstairs mixup. As if leadership skills are dictated by whether you have an inny instead of an outty. Mammary cannons. A genetic inability to pick a restaurant. Judge Judy has zero time for such bullhickey.

Feminists might get ahead if they'd work on mastering their craft. As opposed to working on their third scoop of Haagen Dazs. Whining about their lack of status. Being about as pleasant as a gonad pimple. Judge Judy is one of the few who understands success depends on hard work. Which is why she's the one in the robe calling all the shots.

Speaking of feminism:

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